iBecome a Private Eye
by Opposite of Fire
Summary: Someone's set fire to Ridgeway! Freddie, while trying to prove an uncaring Sam innocent, is beaten into a coma. Now, it's up to a vengeful Sam and an unexpected ally to crack the case and prove Sam innocent!
1. Chapter 1

iBecome a Private Eye

Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly. Someone else does

Authors Notes: First full-fledged story, and first attempt at a mystery. Wish me luck!

Oh, and another thing: this will be in FREDDIE'S POV until a few chapters later. Keep this in mind

* * *

Prologue: iWatch Ridgeway Burn

At 8:00 in the morning, Carly, Sam and I should have been in Ms. Briggs, one of the meanest teachers in Ridgeway, class. Sam, being her obnoxious self, would probably have alternated between talking to Carly, insulting me, pitching ideas for iCarly (our web show), and pranking Ms. Briggs. Carly, being her normal, angelic self, would talk to Sam and myself, actually pay attention, and occasionally scold Sam for her insults/pranks. I would just pay attention to everything going on in class, from the teacher to my two best friends (if you could call Sam a friend).

Instead, we were outside, watching as a roaring fire consumed our beloved school (okay, maybe not beloved by ALL of us, but still).

Nobody is sure how the fire got started. All they know is someone turned off all the fire alarms, and set somethings on fire. It's defiantly arson. If it wasn't, the fire alarms would have gone off.

"I can't believe this," I heard Carly mutter to herself, or was she talking to Sam? I must have been daydreaming for a while.

"Well, look on the bright side, schools out!" Sam seemed excited. I decided they were having a conversation and joined in.

"Who do you think did it?" I asked, half expecting Sam to shout out _Who cares, Freddnub?_

To my surprised, she just looked at me and shrugged. Despite her carefree attitude, I suspect she's as puzzled as me.

"Well, at least no one was hurt," Carly says, trying to brighten the mood. Needless to say, it didn't work. Unsure of what else to say, we just continued watching the fire until Sam, not surprisingly, broke the silence with: "Can we go get donuts?"

"Sam!" Carly snapped in her 'annoyed' tone, the one she uses when Sam or Spencer or I (mostly Sam) do something wrong or irresponsible."No we cannot get donuts!"

"Why donuts?" I questioned, genuinely curious, "Don't you have a ham fetish?"

"The donut shop's closer," she replied. Typical lazy Sam. I nodded and made an 'ah' sound in response.

"Attention!" Principle Franklin called over a megaphone. "Now, I know you all want to get to your classes and learn...okay well maybe not ALL of you," Ted knows us so well. " but due to the fire...it looks like school's canceled for the rest of the day!" a lot of kids, including Sam and Carly, cheer. To me, though, school is the only time I can get away from my overbearing (and somewhat crazy) mom.

"Check your e-mail to find out where school will be held tomorrow. I hope to see you all there" Every student cheers and leaves, but just as we're about to...

"Not you three!" the grading voice of one of our other teachers, Mr. Howard, calls. "Come here!"

We groan, before turning to go back.

We reach the principle and our two meanest teachers, which if you haven't figured by now are Ms. Briggs and Mr. Howard (who is surprisingly married). As soon as we did, Carly questioned, "Um, why are we here. I mean, not that we don't love Ridgeway or anything-"

"I don't," Sam interrupted, getting glares from Briggs and Howard.

"So, why are we here?" Carly repeated, hoping to distract our evil instructors. Briggs glared at her before responding.

"Because, Ms. Shay, we have witness accounts that say Sam Puckett is responsible for the destruction of the school!"

* * *

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	2. Chapter 2

iBecome a Private Eye

Disclaimer: Me? Own iCarly? Hah, good one!

Author's Notes: Freddie's POV again. It might be hard to keep him in character this chapter.

* * *

Chapter 1: iMust Prove Sam innocent

...What?!

Apparently Carly was in as much disbelief as I was, because she quickly exclaimed, "What?! Sam wouldn't do something like that!...You wouldn't, right Sam?"

All of our eyes were trained on the blond. She had been staring ahead at us that whole time (though I was guessing if we all had left, she wouldn't notice) and snapped out of it suddenly.

"Of course not, Carls! How could you doubt me?" Carly looked guilty at that. Sam then directed her attention at our cruel teachers. "And you two, just who told you it was me who set the school on fire?!"

Wow, she looks mad. I don't think I've ever seen her this angry before.

Briggs glared cruelly as she responded, "Gibby, Valerie, others. Plus, once the fire is put out, we'll have the school security tapes for evidence!".

"That is," Principle Franklin interrupted, "If she truly is responsible". He seemed more confident in Sam's innocence than either teachers, or even Carly. That's...sad.

"Is there any doubt?" Howard spoke up, "She's cruel, obnoxious, insensitive, she hates school, and have you seen her bully the other kids? There can be no other explanation," He's just trying to push my buttons, isn't he? "Not to mention her clear stupidity. She, of course wouldn't think a dangerous stunt like this through. Someone could have gotten hurt, and Miss Puckett would be responsible!" All throughout his little speech, I had clenched my fist to keep from attacking him. Sure Sam and I fight more than breathe, but she's still my friend. One of my best friends...

"Uh, Freddie. Your lips bleeding,"

I stopped thinking and felt my lip, surprised to find Carly was right. Apparently I was so upset about the accusation I had bit through it. Oops.

"Er, right, thanks Carly,"

Thank goodness my mom made me pack tissues, in fear of 'Sudden Twenty-Four Hour Illness'. She watches too much reality television, I swear.

Now, I was already almost at breaking point, when Briggs said the words that would trigger more than she could ever imagine...more than most people could ever imagine, actually.

"Miss Puckett, once we get those tapes you will be expelled! Then you can live a miserable, loveless life, just like your mother!"

I exploded.

"Why are you so dead set on proving SAM guilty, just because of her past detention records?! Sure she may cruel, obnoxious, insensitive..."

"Any DAY now, nub!" Sam snapped.

"...but she is not, of all things, evil, and I will prove her innocent by finding the REAL culprit, not because I'm right, though I know I am, but because Sam doesn't deserve this kind of behavior! How did you even get HIRED, anyway?!"

"Even I honestly don't know the answer to that last question, and I'm the one who hired them!" Franklin said, partially to lighten the mood. It didn't work, but points for trying.

"...You'd really waste your time trying to prove me, of all people, innocent?" Sam looked incredulous, but then snapped back to normal and added, "Okay, who are you and what have you done with Freddie?".

Carly, who had sat there stunned during the speech, suddenly flashed an _I know something you don't know_ grin, the one I usually see on Sam's face. I didn't ponder it for too long though, because I then proclaimed, "Give me one week and full access to the school and I can find out the truth behind everything," I then remembered something, "Oh, and I'll need access to the security tapes, too".

"Done," Franklin proclaimed, much to the surprise of a stunned looking Ms. Briggs and an equally shocked Mr. Howard. "You have until next Friday, "Today's Thursday....",but I can't give you access to anything in the school until the Fire department declares it's safe to go in," Oh, so THAT'S why he's giving me an extra day. Surprised he's actually letting me do this, I nodded. "Alright, then I'll see you at the temporary school site tomorrow morning. Until then, enjoy your day off, kids!" With that, our principle left, as well as our teachers.

"Aw, that's so sweet of you to do that for Sam, Freddie," Carly compliments me. We then hear the sound of a motorcycle revving, and see Spencer nearby, awaiting Carly. How did he know the school was set on fire? Carly tells us goodbye before riding off with her brother.

I turned to Sam, "Well, it's just you and me. How should we start investigating?".

To my surprise (well, not really), she laughed in my face and proclaimed, "We? Um, I don't think so. You want to prove me innocent, you go ahead. I'll be at home, eating ham and ignoring the yells of my mother at my cat to _get a job_. You're on your own, Fredward. I could really care less." And she leaves.

But did I really expect anything different? Looks like it's just me...

* * *

Okay, I may have been out of character on Freddie, but I think I got Sam pretty good. Next, the investigation!

R&R, please!


	3. Chapter 3

iBecome a Private Eye

Disclaimer: iCarly is not own by me.

Author's Notes: Sam becomes a little more involved. Freddie begins to work!

* * *

Chapter 2: iBegin my Investigation

Okay, so the Fire Brigade (I know the chief from whenever Spencer sets something on fire) said that the school will be safe to enter tomorrow, and that contractor the school district hired said the repairs will be finished in about a month. That means I should probably plan out my day. I want to at least A) Find out what caused the fire. B) Do some research on people who hate Sam/iCarly (which is surprisingly numerous). And C) Talk to Gibby about his witness account of what happened (No way I'm talking to Valerie!).

I'm about to get started when my cell phone rings. It's Sam. Why am I not surprised?

"Hello," I answer casually. Sam chuckles maniacally and whispers, "You will die in seven days..." in a dark voice. I respond by rolling my eyes.

"Sam, I have caller id".

"Aw, that takes the fun out of everything!".

"So, you decided to join me? Cause I have a schedule..."

"Blah, blah, I'm calling to remind you we have iCarly tonight, Sherlock Homely,". Oh yeah, I nearly forgot.

"Gasp, a semi-clever insult! Who are you and what have you done with Sam!?".

"Shut up, nub. I just don't want Carly spazzing out on me because your too busy playing detective to do your tech geek stuff."

"Aw, so you do care!"

"Not about you! About Carly and our thousands of fans".

"You want an exact number? One million and six." I feel proud. It seems like yesterday that we created iCarly to help kids express creativity and individuality. Now, it's one of the most highly ranked web shows known to man or monkey. Huh, I wonder if the girls would like THAT analogy.

Carly's Reaction: "It's true, we ARE well known amongst creatures that walk on two legs!".

Sam's Reaction: "Oh, so your grandmother watches our show?".

Yeah, that's probably how it would go.

"Your kidding right!? One million and six!? That's half the number of fried chicken legs I've eaten this year! No way we are THAT popular!"

"Believe it, Puckett! Oh, and I know you don't care, but could you help me 'talk' to Gibby later? Remember, he was one of the witnesses against you." That ought to reel her in.

"Can I bring a pick-ax?" Better question:Why does she own a pick-ax? You know what? With Sam, it's better not to ask questions.

"Will you promise not to use it?"

"No...promises."

"...Deal," hey, I needed her help. If I have to let her smash some things, so be it. "After iCarly tonight. Gibby's helping Carly with one of her solo bits,".

"I'll bring the ham," Click. Sam hung up on me. It's okay though, at least she's gonna help me.

* * *

LATER...

My first goal was to find out what caused the fire. My best bet: the fire chief and police chief, both of whom were here. Now, I do I get info out of them?

Easy solution: lie.

"Hello Carl, Matt," I greeted the two as I walked closer. Carl I knew from when Spencer was arrested for that sign that said _Pee on Carl_. According to Carly he rubbed his skin lotion in Spencer's face... no, not literally, just gloating about it. Weird. Matt, well, everyone in Bushwell Apartments knows him, what with Spencer's constant fires. He visits almost every week... on-duty. Both Carly and Sam have their own theories on Spencer's constant fires:

Carly's Opinion: "My brother should not be allowed to touch anything with electrical engineering... come to think, he's set things on fire that make no sense! Maybe he should see someone...".

Sam's opinion: "I'd bet all the ham in my backpack Spence does these things on purpose. I mean, come on, how many people can set that many fires on accident?"

Though Sam's is actually more probable... I hope Carly's right. Spencer being in jail would NOT look good for anybody.

"Hey kid," Matt greets with a smile. "So, what brings you out here?"

Time for the lying to begin. I hope I've learned something from Sam...

"Well, you see, I'm trying to get on the school newspaper, and I need a cover-page story to get in this late in the year!" Whoa, that wasn't so hard. Guess Sam has taught me a thing or two.

"Alright, so, whattaya wanna know? Oh, and make sure we stay out of it. Giving this info to anyone else could cost us our jobs!" Carl says. I smiled. Lie bought!

"Well," I begin, " All I really need to know is how the fire started. I mean, everyone knows it was arson, but what was the exact cause?".

"It looks to me like someone just doused an few rooms with some type of gasoline. They musta known what they were doing, because no one was aware of the fire until it got to the basement and blew up the boiler. I swear, someone could have been killed! Luckily, once the explosion happened, everyone was smart enough to get outside. If they hadn't, they might have been killed today," Carl sighs sadly."It's such a shame to see such a well known building destroyed. Matt thinks there might have been a murder attempt involved, but I say that's rummish!"

"Now listen here, Carl, I know what I'm talking about, and I think our culprit was after a student, or maybe a teachers life!"

"And I'm an officer, and I say that there was no murder involved!"

There was probably more, but at that point I left. I got all I needed from those guys. Suddenly, a shrill, and all too familiar voice calls my name.

Mom.

Doesn't matter. Until tomorrow, I've gotten all I need from this place.

* * *

LATER...

I'm at the iCarly studio. You should've seen my mom's face while she yelled at me for not calling her immediately. She heard school was canceled from Spencer. After waiting until she calmed down, I went over to Carly's like I always do. More force of habit than anything. Was I surprised to find Sam there? No. Was I surprised when Carly constantly asked why she had a pick-ax? No. Was I surprised that Sam kept her promise? Beyond all belief.

So far, Goal A was accomplished. Moving on to Goal B.

Now, I was going through my file of iCarly villains/foes/people to look out for. Hey, it pays to have this stuff! So far, nothing. Nevel could have done it, maybe, but I don't think he'd murder someone just to stop a web show. Besides, he's home-schooled, and we have a deal with his mom that if he does anything suspicious, she'll give us a call. Unless she's suddenly become a liar, I doubt it.

My only other suspect so far was Valerie. She's little Miss perfect, the teachers wouldn't suspect her, and she was a witness against Sam. That alone has gotten her farther along the suspect trails than Nevel Papperman, and I've rated him our number one threat.

So, Goal B isn't going so well. But it's just research. Tomorrow when I get a chance to see the videos and access the school, there is no doubt that Samantha Puckett is going to be proven innocent to all Seatllites.

"Hey Nancy Dumb, shows about to start," Oh, did I forget to mention Sam has come up with a bunch of detective related insults for me? Yeah, and it's pretty dumb considering I'm the only willing to prove her innocent. Unless she... no, she didn't do this, I know her too well!

"Just a second, Public Enemy Number One!" That is a partially true statement. It somehow leaked that Sam is the prime suspect (coughValeriecough) and most everyone treats her like she did it. The only reason my mom let me over here is because I know Sam is innocent, and she, for some reason, believes me. Maybe she actually likes Sam? More importantly, why does that feel like a good thing?

"Alright, and we're on in 5, 4, 3, 2..."

* * *

"And thank you!" Carly bursts out enthusiastically.

"Don't forget to gargle your cat and feed your mouthwash!" Sam adds with equal enthusiasm. "Oh, wait... I got that wrong...oh well, you get it!"

"Wait!" I say just before the girls finish signing off. I turn the camera onto myself and say, "People of Seattle already know this, but Ridgeway has recently been burnt to the ground. And despite rumors, it is NOT Sam's fault! If you know ANYTHING that could help me, contact me at iCarly dot com."

It might just be me, but I think I see Sam tear a little.

And then Carly joins me in my shot: "That's right. Any help at all would be appreciated and rewarded. Oh, and please, stop shouting at Sam every time she leaves my apartment!"

"Thank you!"

"Goodnight!"

"Yeah..."

If you had any common sense, you'll know who said what. "And we're clear!"

"Alright, I'm gonna get some fruit cups to celebrate another successful web cast!" Carly announces before leaving. Sam smirks over at Gibby, who was heading to the door.

"Hey, Gibby..."

* * *

SEVERAL MOMENTS LATER...

"!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

If you haven't guessed, that was Gibby. Even without getting all swingy with that pick-ax, Sam can be VERY scary. And she considers Gibby and I friends... I pity the fool who crosses Sam Puckett.

"Alright, why did you tell Briggs and Howard it was me?!" I like her phrasing. It suggests she didn't do it, WHICH SHE DIDN'T!

"Because I saw you! You left the basement of the school a few minutes before the explosion!" Sam and I looked at each other. I know Sam was in class with me before the explosion...

"GUYS!" Uh oh, busted by Carly.

Our brunette best friend proceeded to untie Gibby (who we had tied down to a chair) and send him home, and scolded us about torturing an already mentally disturbed kid. I pretty much tuned her out (you know, like Sam does with school) until I heard Spencer call me.

"What?" I asked as I reached the bottom floor. Spencer was sitting upon a- wait, am I seeing this right?!

"Spence, is that-?"

"Yeah, a giant rubber chicken wearing a mickey mouse hat!" I think my best friend's Brother/Guardian is half- no make that completely crazy.

"Why-"

"Hey, I don't make the orders, I fill them," Well, it makes more sense when someone requests this stuff (which they do often), but still, who would want this stuff? "Oh, your mom wants you home,".

"Thanks. Hey, is Sam staying the night?"

"Are you two doing a wake-up Spencer segment?" No, I need all the rest I can get.

"Not tonight,".

"Then yeah, probably,".

"Thanks Spencer,"

"No prob. Later!".

As I head home, I begin to think about the days events. I made good progress, I believe, but I still have so much more to do tomorrow...

* * *

Aaaannnnndddddd........ scene.

Well? Come on, don't be shy! Review buttons right there!

One of my better chapters I believe...well, at least it's longer.


	4. Chapter 4

iBecome a Private Eye

Disclaimer: iCarly is owned by... not me. Get over it!

Author's Notes: Okay, Final Chapter from Freddie's POV... He's figured it out! But will you?

* * *

Chapter 3: iHave Figured it Out!

The temporary school site turned out to be the spare apartment spaces in Bushwell. I think Franklin picked this location on purpose, though he can't really show favoritism to us. Any who, after school I told my mom I was walking Sam home. Well, I was, but I was also going to 'drop' by the school with this letter from Franklin, saying I can go in.

As we walk out of Bushwell, the first thing out of Sam's mouth is: "Are we going to get a pizza?"

I looked at her incredulously, "Wha-?! No! I'm taking **YOU** home, then I'm going to the school to finish my investigation. Or at least, find something to help,".

"Look, Freddork, I really do appreciate what your doing but...your just prolonging the inevitable. When the weeks up, Briggs and Howard are gonna lock me up, throw away the key, and leave me to rot... whether I deserve it or not." She looked down while she was talking. Sam hated feeling weak, and I knew this all too well. I made us stop walking.

"Sam... I need to know right now, did you do it or not?".

"I didn't... I really didn't". I smiled. I knew Sam was innocent, but I needed to get her to confess to it.

"In that case," I replied, carefully choosing my words. One wrong move and Sam, even in this state, could pound me into creamed corn. "I can, and will, prove you innocent. There is no such thing as the perfect crime, and there will be some loophole, you'll see. It's just a matter of exploiting it.". We continued walking, as Sam continued the conversation.

"Just like I exploit you and Carly?".

"Um...no?" Why would she us that analogy? I don't think she exploits us. Last year I probably won't have said that but now...no, she's never taken advantage of us. Except financially, and she's right, I don't need that money.

"Uh huh, right. Listen Benson, don't lie to mama; do you really think you can do this?" By now we were at her house. I gave her a loop-sided smile.

"Does ham make Sammie happy?" I know I'm pushing it, but I'm gonna take my chances.

"Watch it! Mama likes her ham!" She's letting me go easy today. Shuffling her feet nervously she said, "I believe you, okay?"

"So, you're coming?" No, she's not, but I need to appear optimistic.

"Are you nuts, Benny-boy? I believe **YOU** can do it, not me. Good luck though!" And exit Sam.

I stare at the door where she disappeared a moment longer than usual before heading for my burnt destination: Ridgeway.

* * *

"Alright, you're clear for entrance," FINALLY! The guy at the door isn't doing his job so well. I've been here for almost half an hour just so he could give me clearance on his laptop. Something that would have taken me several minutes. Who hired this guy again?

"Thank you," I manage to say half-politely. Then I inquire, "Do you have any knowledge on the security tapes?".

"Sorry, kiddo. Yesterday two very old-looking people came and took all of them. But have fun searching the school!" He flashed a grin, and I roll my eyes while walking into the building. Two old-looking people? That can only be Briggs and Howard. No one else who hates Sam would have clearance. But why take the tapes? They'll get them when I'm done anyway, and it won't really help them to hide evidence like that, why take it? I suspect foul play.

Being alone like this creeps me out. Quickly, I pull out my cell-phone and call Sam. I know for a fact that Carly's busy with Spencer and Socko tonight. Something about a family get-together? I dunno.

"Yellow?"

"Yellow? Really, Sam?" I didn't think she would use that greeting.

"Oh, hey dork," she didn't sound so upset to hear from me. "So, how's it going, Sherlock? Bag any dangerous fire-starters, yet?"

"Nope, but I'm bored all by myself. Too bad you didn't come." Maybe I could guilt her into coming?

"Hmm, in a burnt up school with you, no meat, and a psycho pyro? Pass." Yeah, didn't think so.

"Well, mayhaps you change your mind, Puckett, you know where I'll be,".

"Mayhaps? Really, Inspector Geek?" Hey!

"Don't judge me by my vocabulary!"

"Don't judge me by my vocabulary!" She's mocking me!

"Why did I call you agai- What's that?" Just as I'm about to finish my sentence, I spot something in one of the rooms where the fire started. Sam keeps asking what's going on but I ignore her for now. Then, I find what I was looking for, on the floor, under a desk.

"It's a... laptop?"

"Why would a criminal leave their laptop behind?"

"Like I said, no crime is perfect. I'm logging in now." I wait for the computer to load up in silent suspense. Well, minus Sam asking over and over again if it's done. I have half a mind to hang up on her when it's done.

I'm really glad I'm, in Sam's terms, a tech geek. It's so easy to find out what the criminal is hiding. Unfortunately, All the incriminating stuff has been erased.

"Geek?" Sam inquires gently. "What's up?".

"There's...nothing. No evidence...nothing," I can't believe it. Possibly our biggest piece of evidence and there's NOTHING ON IT!

"Hmm...check the internet history. Maybe you can find something linking them to the fire, and give the laptop to the police," That's...not so bad, actually. I pull up the internet history, but only find one website in the past 42-hours. The other days of the week? There all sites about fashion magazines and online clothing stores and, surprisingly enough, iCarly is favorited.

"Anything else?" Sam asked when I told her the contents. I nodded my head, and after a while... "I can't see you, nub! Answer me verbally, with your words!" Oh.

"Just one more. I'll click on it," and I'm onto a semi-familiar website. One that requires a log-in password. There is already a user name...

I take a few random guesses until I get it. The password is coincided with another fact about Sam. I guess the culprit is either obsessed with her (which would be creepy) or knows her personally...

Shaking that thought out of my head for now (but storing it for later), I look through the documents and I found a new one. After a moments debate, I read it.

"Freddie? You-who, still here!"

"Sorry, Sam, I'm reading through a- whoa!" This is- This is-

"What!? What did you find?! Come on, tell me!" I thought she wasn't interested... oh well, I'll tell her anyway.

"The plans, for both the fire and something else, and there addressed to- no!" It can't be!

"WHO?! WHO ALREADY NUBFACE!" Sam's getting impatient. But as it sinks in, it starts to make sense...

The witnesses of Sam...

The cause of the fire, gasoline (something Sam wouldn't, and can't, have)...

The websites on the computer...

"Sam, it's- Ugh!" A heavy pain pulses through my head, and I fall backwards, onto the blackened wooden floor. I can make out the (although shady) familiar figure...

"FREDDIE!!"

The attacker raises a crowbar in preparation for another strike...

The last thing I remember thinking is _Now who's gonna prove Sam innocent?_

Pain. Fade to Black.

* * *

Any ideas yet? Remember the clues...

Please R&R, it makes me smile!


	5. Chapter 5

iBecome a Private Eye

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own iCarly today. Sorry!

Author's Notes: So... Freddie's out cold. What will our favorite Blond do about it? And how come Carly wasn't in the last chapter? You shall see... but not now! Oh, and Sam's POV, now! Takes off at the beginning of the phone call.

* * *

Chapter 4: iShould Have Been There

"Yellow?" I answered casually. Very few people called my house, and we didn't have caller ID. I did that just to annoy whoever it was, as very few people like that.

"Yellow? Really, Sam?" I know that nubby voice...

"Oh, hey dork! So, how's it going, Sherlock? Bag any dangerous fire-starters yet?" I'm only half-curious. I mostly wanna know why he called me.

"Nope, but I'm bored all by myself," He answered rather casually. The geek, I would've assumed he'd call Carly. But isn't she and Spencer going to some sort of party? I dunno, but she kicked me out for some reason. Why do you think I went home voluntarily?"Too bad you didn't come...".

Oh, I know this routine. Guilt. Who does he think he's playing with, Mother Teresa? More importantly, how do I know who Mother Teresa is? Oh my gosh, I must be sleep-learning! At any rate, time to show him what for.

"Hmm, in a burnt up school with you, no meat, and a psycho pyro? Pass." Yeah, that ought to do it. Did he seriously think I would go? Too optimistic for his own good, I swear.

"Well, mayhaps you change your mind, Puckett, you know where I'll be," Mayhaps? Really, Freddork? What a nub.

"Mayhaps? Really Inspector Geek?".

"Don't judge me by my vocabulary!" And you keep making it better for yourself. You're a good friend, but you make this too easy. A simple mock will do for now.

"Don't judge me by my vocabulary!"

"Why did I call you agai- What's that?" What's what? A clue? Spill, Fredward, spill!

After forever, he responded to my (somewhat annoying) questions and said, "It's a.. .laptop?".

"Why would a criminal leave their laptop behind?" This is getting stranger by the second. What scared me most, though, was probably the fact that no one in their right mind, or insane mind now that I think about it, would not notice a missing laptop. I push that feeling aside for now. Best not to let Fredward know I'm worried for him.

"Like I said, no crime is perfect. I'm logging in now." How awesome is he? Wait, did I just call Fredward Benson, my favorite target, awesome? After this is all over I'm getting my head checked. Maybe Gibby's insanity is contagious. I'll just nag him for now.

"Is it done? Is it done? Is it done? Is it done? Come on, Freddork, don't leave me hanging!" That's pretty much how it went down. I'm surprised he didn't hang up on me. Then again, it's Freddie. If he could handle my teasing and constant torture for this long in his life, he could handle this.

"It's finished loading. Give me a minute or so to poke around. It looks similar to my own laptop, so it should go-".

"Blah, Blah, Blah, just keep searching!" I yell at him impatiently. I hear him mutter "Crazy demon," under his breath before going back to work. And I wait...

And wait...

And wait...

And finally...

"Geek?" I try to keep it gentle this time. "What's up?".

"There's...nothing. No evidence...nothing," No wonder this mystery arsonist is taking his/her sweet time getting back his/her laptop. They must know something about computers. Well, I know numerous schools on the west coast (including Ridgeway) has classes about computers, but still, that's a lot of chiz to be getting rid of. Plus, no one puts everything on a computer. The chance of their being a lot of info on there were slim, anyways. Freddie must be feeling bad, considering he is a tech geek. I take a moment to ponder before responding.

"Hmm...check the internet history. Maybe you can find something linking them to the fire, and give the laptop to the police," Not a bad idea. It's how I found out where my mom gets her limited edition stuff, the items I get Carly and Freddie for birthdays/Christmas/other gift giving holidays.

Freddie, after a moment, begins listing websites. A few I don't know, some I've heard of via Melanie (who does exist, by the way) and Carly. Oddly enough, iCarly was favorited, proving that the pyro is a Sam stalker. Creepy.

"Anything else?" I ask when he finishes listing the website. Silence for a moment, and I then realized what he did. "I can't see you, nub! Answer me verbally, with your words!". Idiot.

"Just one more. I'll click on it." I can hear some clicks in the background, and Freddie mumbling to himself (does he know he does that?). Then, after a moment of silence...

"Freddie? You-who, still here!"

"Sorry, Sam, I'm reading through a- whoa!" Come on, Freddork, enough with the suspense!

"What!? What did you find?! Come on, tell me!" Impatiences wins every time.

"The plans, for both the fire and something else, and there addressed to- no!" Oh, come on! By now I lose my patience and shriek:

"WHO?! WHO ALREADY NUBFACE!" Okay, so I'm no Mother Teresa. But come on, even she wasn't perfect! At least, I think she wasn't. Maybe I should stop sleeping through class... nah!

Why was this taking so long? It's been a whole half a minute. Then he begins to speak:

"Sam, it's- Ugh!" Freddie? Freddie!

I heard a sharp thud, and the unforgettable clang of metal against human flesh, as well as a slight crack. Judging from the sound of the thud, and the crack, something must have hit his head. Normally I would write this off as a coincidence, but this time, my mind goes back to crazy pyro stalker.

"Freddie!!" I feel my heartbeat quicken. Another clang. This time, my heart jumps, and for a moment I think he might be dead.

I call out to him again when I hear a groan. There was more of the sound of metal against flesh, while I screamed out to him. And then...

"I'm sorry. Fredward Benson is unable to come to the phone right now. Leave a message and he'll get back to you...if he lives, that is," Click. Psycho had turned off the phone. She/He (still not able to determine) sounds familiar, but I can't place it. Reacting quickly, I call 9-1-1. At first she doesn't believe me, but when I mention Freddie's full name, she informs me a dispatch is on the way. Once that's over and done with, I bolt outside, heading for the school.

While I'm running, only one thought comes to me: _I should have been there... _

* * *

When I arrive at the school, an ambulance is already there. Funny how fast people react when it's a celebrity. I rush towards the ambulance, and my heart (yes, I have one. Shocking) cracks when I see Freddie.

He's all pale. It's obvious he's lost a lot of blood. You can still see it on his clothes and in his hair. Purple masses of swollenness stand out. If I didn't know better, I'd say he was dead. Still, looking at him now, I'm not exactly relieved.

A few cops, Principle Franklin, and a few teachers (minus Briggs and Howard, for some reason) are talking to the security guard. After a little bit, he stops talking and points.

It takes me all of three seconds to realize he's pointing at me.

* * *

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	6. Chapter 6

iBecome a Private Eye

Disclaimer: Never have, and very possibly never will, own iCarly.

Author's Notes: Sam's new resolve! She gets her inspiration to hunt down Psycho Pyro Stalker. Will Sam Puckett's invincibility and luck help her here? Or will she need help? More importantly, why would you know this stuff? On with the epic!

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Chapter 5: iPromise Vengeance

"WHERE IS HE?! WHERE IS MY FREDDIE?!?!?!?!?!?!" Yeah, if you hadn't guessed, that's the freaked out Mrs. Benson. I'm not listening to her though. My mind is still processing what happened at the school. Freddie... is hurt. He is not the kind of person that gets hurt. The kind you view as indestructible. I can't believe he's here, at Mid-city Hospital. That's only part of the problem, though.

Apparently the man at the door had claimed to see ME enter the building before the ambulance got there. I argued that I just got here, that that made no sense. Franklin believed me (did I ever mention how awesome that man is?), and managed to convince the police not to arrest me. The cops are suspicious of me, and all the other teachers are dead against me. Even the non-evil ones! How terrible is that?

And now I'm here, waiting with that psycho mom of Freddie's. She is, as you could tell from her outburst earlier, freaked out. And worse, she knows I'm the last person to have contact with Freddie (as far as anyone will admit). So, she decided to gently inquire me on what I know and what happened... okay, how many people believed me? None? Good, cause that didn't happen.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY PRECIOUS BABY, PUCKETT!!! YOU ARE GOING TO TELL ME RIGHT NOW OR ELSE....." At that point, she simply wasn't able to talk properly. Normally, I wouldn't care, but since it's Freddie's mom...

"Look, Mrs. B, I saved his life! He and I were on the phone, and someone hit him! It sounded real bad, and the way he looked on the way over here...," oh yeah, I forgot to mention I rode over here in the ambulance with Freddie. Normally, I would think that's awesome, but not with the dork in the back, hooked up to machines to keep him alive! "I just hope he's gonna be alright," Was all I could say.

Mrs. Benson (can I call her Marissa? Mrs. Benson is boring. Then again, so it she...) seemed to calm down a little. She merely sat next to me with a magazine. I started to read one, but just couldn't. My stomach was doing flip-flops and I was struggling not to move (Hey, this was a hospital, I couldn't pace!). Finally, after an eternity and a half, a doctor called for us.

"Family and friends of Fredward Benson?" He asked. I sighed impatiently. Impatience always gets the best of me.

"Yeah, now can we know how he is, or do we have to finish the Military Corp.'s Training Course beforehand?" Not the best thing to do, but when Freddie was here last time, when he saved Carly's life, I was just as rowdy and impatient. The doctor glares at me, obviously annoyed.

"Fine, Ms. Bossypants,". Bossypants? What is he, five? If this is Fredweird's doctor... no wonder he's so strange. Poor boy.

The doctor leads us to a room in silence. I know M. Benson (Yeah, I'm gonna use that from now on) is just as anxious about what we'll find as I am. As much as I hate to admit it, I'm scared for his life.

When the door opens, it's what I half-expected and half-dreaded. Freddie's lying on a clean white bed, hooked up to several machines. Although most of his bruises are still there, he looks less pale. I sit on the right side of his bed, while M. Benson sits on his left. I feel my heart stop as I gaze upon his unconscious form.

"Freddork," I chimed quietly. "Time to get up,". He didn't respond at all. That's when I realized how serious things were. If he was just asleep, or even unconscious, he would have responded in some way. I gently shook him, this time saying a little louder, " Come on Fredweird, we've got things to do. You can't just lay around all day. That's my job," Nothing. Not even twitch.

I tear up, and I can hear M. Benson crying behind me. The doctor explains that he is in coma, but I block him out after that. My mind keeps going back to when I first saw him being loaded onto the ambulance, when I thought he was dead. I never want to feel that again. But what's bugging me most is that my mind keeps reminding me this is my fault.

_He was beaten into a coma..._

_He nearly died..._

_He nearly died... to save **YOU** from jail._

_This is your fault... you should have been there._

_Freddie's almost dead..._

Thoughts similar to those keep playing in my mind like a recording. I feel guilty, something I rarely feel. I wonder where Carly is? She was right there when the Taco Truck ran over Freddie, so why isn't she here now?

"I'm sorry, Freddio, " I can't help it anymore. Salty liquid burns my eyes and runs down my face. Stupid tears.

"Sam," M. Benson, surprisingly, is the one who comes up to me with a comforting hand. She gently lays it on my shoulder, saying "It's not your fault,". It is, stupid woman! It's all my fault! Can't you see that?!

Suddenly, my pain and sadness turns to rage and hate. I stand up.

"Fredward Benson," I begin, trying to keep my anger in check. I take a deep breath and continue. "I know we're not the best of friends, but you were put in this state trying to prove me innocent of accused crimes. I'm scared that you will die here, and it will be partly my fault," I see M. Benson try to stop my to incorrectly say this **ISN'T** my fault, but I stop her with a hand gesture. "So, with Marissa Benson, crazy doctor, and God himself as my witness, I promise to solve this crime in your name, Freddie... it's the least I can do," The doctor wipes a tear at my speech, not at all bothered by the fact that I'd called him crazy. M. Benson looks surprised, but then smiles.

"Sweetheart," She began as sweetly as she possibly could under the situation, "You don't have to do this-".

"Yes I do!" I surprised myself by snapping at her, but continue in this direction in my typical voice style, "Listen, the world ain't all kittens and rainbows. This here," I gestured towards Freddie, "Is the proof. And who would now that better than someone like me? I'll get to the bottom of this, and when I do," I narrowed my eyes as a sudden rush of anger gets to me, "I'll get vengeance. Oh yes Freddie, you will be avenged, I swear to it!".

Okay, maybe that sounds a little crazy, but I was caught up in the moment!

The doctor eyes me and then left. I think he's determined that **I'M** the crazy one. M. Benson gave me a look of- wait, was that pity?!

Anyways, she's left. Just as I'm about to do the same, I turn to Freddie.

"Don't die yet, Freddork. I want to be able to tell **YOU** I won, not your grave.".

* * *

I would like to thank the reviewers for... reviewing. You guys are the coolest!

Don't you wanna be the coolest? Just review!


	7. Chapter 7

iBecome a Private Eye

Disclaimer: Uh, yeah, don't own iCarly, you get the drill.

Author's notes: Well, Carly's back. Carly fans aren't gonna be proud of me, though. Read and see what I mean.

* * *

Chapter 6: iDon't believe you, Sam

"Thanks for the ride, Mrs. B," I say casually as we enter the hallway between Carly and Freddie's apartments. Speaking of Carly, where was she? I haven't seen her since school, and that was several hours ago. Should I be worried?

"No problem, Samantha," M. Benson replies, knocking me out of my thoughts. If it were anyone else, I would have growled at them for calling me Samantha. Not even my own **MOM** is allowed to call me by my full name. But M. Benson's been through some hard stuff today, so I'll go easy on her.

"Call me Sam,".

"Alright deary," She says back all sweet-like. I continue to fake smile as she continues, "If you ever need me to help you, or drive you somewhere, or just to talk to, I'm right next door," Well duh, I'd know that even if Freddork wasn't your son, I'm here so much. Hey, I practically live here, it's my home away from home.

"Thank you, Mrs. B-".

"Please, call me Marissa," Alright.

"Thank you, Marissa," I really do appreciate her offer. Do you know how many people are willing to help a criminal (or, rather, accused criminal) like me? I heard your lucky to get one good friend in your lifetime. Then I must be one lucky person to have Carly, Freddie, and now, Mrs. B. One lucky bug...

Anyways, Marissa (yeah, I'm gonna call her that now, have a problem with it?) has gone back to her own apartment, and I turn around to enter Carly's. For some reason, Spencer still locks it. Don't know why, just more work for me. I unlock the door and announce my presence to Carly in the kitchen. She jumps (unusual, as she's never surprised by my presence) and responds.

"Sam, can't you just knock for once? Most people already think your a criminal," You'd expect her to say this with sarcasm, but she didn't. She seemed distracted. Unusual as well.

"Relax Carls, I always break in here. Are you okay?" Her eyes widen, and she looks like a deer in the headlights. That's when I know somethings up. Not showing up at the hospital, and acting suspicious now, I'm worried. Especially since she doesn't respond.

"Carly, Freddie's in the hospital," Yeah, call my timing bad, call me blunt, but Carly needs to know this stuff. If she's gonna be out of commission, she's gotta know what she missed. No matter if it's horrid and depressing.

"What?! What happened?! I-is he okay?!" No, he's not okay and it's partly my fault!

"Remember how he was trying to save me from wrongful imprisonment? Well, that Psycho Pyro Stalker dude, or chick, still not sure there, beat him up. He's in a coma, Carly, I'm sorry," Knowing Carly, she'll probably ask-

"I can understand psycho and pyro, but why stalker, Sam?" Yeah, something like that.

So I explain to Carly how we (or rather, Freddie) had found the laptop, and Psycho's message, and so on and so forth. Carly still looks guilty...

"Sam, why?!" Wha-? That was kinda weird.

"What are you talking about, Carls?" I ask with genuine interest.

"Briggs and Howard showed me the security tapes!" She blurts out. I stared at her in shock. She continues, though now looking reluctant, "Sam, on the tapes... you were there. You doused an entire room with some type of gas, struck a match, and left. I don't know how, Sam, and I don't think I care, but... Why?! And why did you beat up Freddie!" I listen to her in half-shock, half-anger. She is accusing me of not only burning down my second home away from home (no matter how much I hate it), but actually trying to kill Freddie. Best friend or not, she has **SO** crossed the line.

"Listen here, Shay!" I snapped, and she flinches. This only tells me she's afraid of me, and rightly so, I guess. I stare at her fear-filled eyes, and consider backing down. Then I remember what she said about me beating up Freddie. Anger's back. "I did **NO** such things! Even if we do fight, Freddie and I are as good of friends as you and I... maybe even better! Ya know why? Because he put himself on the line for me, and now I have to do the same for him! Don't support me, tough!" Okay, maybe I'm being harsh, but what would you have done?

"Sam, stop with the innocent act!" I flinch, because I didn't expect Carly to snap at me like that. She is usually so calm and collective. Why won't she believe me? "I know your guilty, and your lucky I don't turn you in right now! Sam, that was rash, irresponsible, and-" I cut her off.

"Wow, there, Shay, those tapes could have been faked! Why are you doing this, why won't you believe me?" This day has been hard enough with adding Carly drama to it.

"Sam, they showed it to me in case I knew something! I didn't think you would go this far, I didn't know you could be this crazy!" Oh, that's it Shay. I backed down, heading for the door. Carly calls after me:

"Hey, we weren't finished here, Sam! Get back here, we still have a lot to talk about!" Is she crazy? That was not talking, it was a horrid accusation on an innocent person. And that accusation had turned to an argument big enough to match the famous Puckett vs. Benson rivalry.

"Carly, get real, that wasn't talking. Now let me leave. I'm not gonna hang with someone who falsely accuses me," And I'm heading to the door. No way Shay's gonna stop me from leaving now.

"Sam, wait!" I turn back to her.

"Call me back when Carly Shay re-inhabits your body. Because you are NOT my best friend. My best friend would hear me out, at least," That stuns Carly long enough for me to exit. I head down to the lobby (using the stairs, of course) ignore Lewbert (Who was yelling something about not stepping on his freshly mopped floor. Weirdo), and leave Bushwell (for awhile at least).

Carly... was my only ally. Briggs and Howard have turned her against me. Now, I only have one question:

Can I really handle being on my own?

* * *

Poor Sam! Next chapter she... oops, sorry, I'm against spoilers!

Review if you want to see the next chapter... alive! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!


	8. Chapter 8

iBecome a Private Eye

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN iCARLY! STOP ASKING!

Author's Notes: Well, now Sam's all alone. What will happen next? Oh wait, I already know! Just sit tight, read, and maybe review.

* * *

Chapter 7: iRecruit an Enemy

My situation is not looking good.

For those of you who've just tuned in (wait, since when did this become a TV show?), I have just been rejected by my best friend. Well, best friend who's conscious and in proper health. Marissa and I have become friends, and Freddie's in the hospital, in a coma, attached to all sorts of machines... okay, the image is moderately disturbing, so I'll be moving on now.

Now for what you don't know.

I have gone to practically every other person in town that I know. Gibby and most of the other dweebs in our school are scared of me, the cooler kids (even those in the Detention Club) don't believe me kinda like Carly didn't, and the adults either don't believe me, or are unable to help me. Spencer can't risk doing something to upset Carly (who I now know has been emotionally unstable since the security tape incident), Principle Franklin can't help me publicly, as that would look like favoritism or something, which he can't afford, and Marissa is so worried about Freddie that she isn't stable enough to help me right now. So, I'm stuck without a friend in the world.

Oh, and my family, forget it. Mom's not going to help me, I know that without asking, and Melanie is so wrapped up in school work that she can't come down to help me. Which is so not fair! I took off a week from school to help her recover a science project from a thief, but she won't come up to help me prove my innocence? Why do I have a sister again?

So, to recap, I'm all alone, with a psycho pyro stalker on my tail and everyone in Seattle against me. Wow, I'm in deep chiz.

Right now, I'm walking into the Groovy Smoothie. Spencer DID give me some money, and I need nourishment! I think better on a full stomach.

"Yo T-Bo!" I call to the slightly creepy waiter/smoothie maker/weird guy, "I need a Banana Blitz, right here!".

"Make that two," A familiar, and despised, voice calls from behind me. I turn around and stare, in partial hatred at the originator of said voice.

"Nevel...", I glare at him with every ounce of hatred in my body. He might not be responsible for what happened at Ridgeway, but I still despise that little nub.

"Hello, Puckett," There's an interesting story behind him calling me Puckett. He once made the mistake of calling me Samantha, despite Freddie's warnings, and ended up in the hospital with a broken arm. I chuckle at that memory before turning to Nubel- I mean, Nevel. "What a coincidence meeting you at this fine smoothie establishment,".

"Yeah right," I snort back, "You knew I was going to be here, you wanted to see me on purpose!" Why would he want to see me, though?

"Alright Puckett, since your obviously **SO** clever," Cue eye roll, "I'll just cut to the chase. I want to help," Is he serious?! No one wants to help me, not even those that believe me! Why-

"I know your probably wondering why I want to help you. The answer is simple, really... because you didn't do it,".

"And how do you know that?" I ask, not denying or confirming anything just yet. I still don't trust this nub.

"Simply, Puckett, because you are a delinquent, a prankster, and a thief, but you are in no way a thug or a murderer. You are mentally incapable of it, or even seriously hurting someone innocent. And your not stupid, you would have known how risky setting the school on fire was," Well, Carly and I always said this guy had a big head, but now he's proving there's more than just bubble gum in it.

"Alright, but I need more of a reason than 'because it's right'. You're too selfish for that. And isn't this your chance to wipe out iCarly for good?" I can't help but point that out. Though little does he know, I'm just testing his resolve. I need an ally, any ally, and Nevel's the closest thing I've got.

"Very true, Puckett. But there is more to this than just proving you innocent. My cousin, Irma, goes to Ridgeway, she's a year younger than you, and she was injured in the fire. A third-degree burn on her arm, and a second-degree burn on her face," Ouch. "I want revenge, and teaming up with you is the quickest way to get it," Now he's talking my language!

"I can't promise anything, but if we succeed, you'll have your revenge... and I'll have mine," I grimace slightly at the memory of Freddie. Nevel simply nods and responds, in a completely neutral tone:

"Yes, I heard about Fredward. What a shame, poor boy. And he had so much potential...".

"And I'm gonna get vengeance for him. In your own words, Papperman, psycho pyro stalker shall rue the day he crossed Samantha J. Puckett!" He stares at me incredulously.

"What's the J stand for?" Oh, he SO does not wanna go there!

"Don't ask. Please." He shuts up about it. Smart boy.

"So, what's the battle plan, Miss Puckett? Or may I call you Sam now?".

"Listen nub," I say it quietly, but seriously, like a mobster in the old movies would. "Just because we are working together on this, we are not magically friends here. In fact, I still hate your nubby little face. But I need all the help I can get, and you're the only one offering. So, you can call me Sam, but only for now," He nods, back to neutrality.

"Quite. I don't desire friendship from you either, Samantha," Well then!

"Alright now, we'll meet tomorrow at, um..." I bite my lip in thought. No school tomorrow, it's Saturday, so we're going to have to meet early to begin the investigation. Not to mention we'll need to go somewhere Carly won't spot us. Bushwell is out.

"How about at Mid-City hospital. That way you can say 'hi' to your comatose friend before we start. By the way, we'll need to get some supplies before we get to work. I'll bring those tomorrow. And we'll need a ride,"

"Mrs. Benson can do that. She promised she'd help, but she's in no condition to actually fight off psycho pyro stalker should we ever face him/her," I interrupt. Nevel raises an eyebrow.

"You don't know the gender? This is going to take a while, then. How many clues-", we were interrupted by, well, do I even need to tell you? Here's a hint:

"Hey, you wanna buy a cheese ball?".

"No we do not want a cheese ball, T-Bo! And how are our smoothies coming along?" Did anyone guess T-Bo? Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner! How did he get those things on a stick, anyways?

"You know what, why don't we just save this all for tomorrow, anyway?" Nevel says, before gathering his things. "Take some advice, Sam. Go home, get some rest, and prepare for a big day. Oh, and you can have my smoothie," He puts down enough money for two smoothies, "My treat," And exit Nevel.

So, I finally got me an ally. I still can't help but wonder if I made a mistake...

* * *

And so, Sam isn't alone anymore! Stay tuned, or you'll miss out on the next chapter!

R&R, por favor!


	9. Chapter 9

iBecome a Private Eye

Disclaimer: No iCarly ownership here!

Author's Notes: This chapter has a little Seddieish fluff in it, even if Freddie's not conscious. Also, slight warning: Nevel being Nevel.

* * *

Chapter 8: iNeed you, Freddork

I didn't get much sleep that night.

Well, how could I? My friends and family were either uncontactable, or didn't believe me, my only help was a nub I despised who tried to hurt my best friends and myself multiple times, and I had a psycho pyro stalker watching my every move... possibly. I'm still not sure what he's capable of, yet. All I know is that unless I solve this mystery, not only will I go to jail, but so many people, including Freddie, would be let down. I wonder if he'll ever wake up?

Half-asleep, I trudged over to my computer and sent my sister an e-mail, but being careful not to mention Nevel or Freddie. If psycho pyro stalker is as smart as he/she's lead us to believe, he/she'll know. If not, it'll be nice to keep this advantage (or not) to myself for now. As for not mentioning Freddie... I couldn't. I just couldn't.

I recall Nevel's words to get as much rest as possible before tomorrow. It's probably around midnight, so I best get some sleep. Hey, tortured rest is better than no rest at all, right?

Wondering what will happen tomorrow, I unknowingly fall asleep the second my head touches the pillow.

"_Sam... Sam..." Ugh, who is it?_

"_Go away..." I mumble as best as I can. I open my one eye slightly, then both eyes open wide in complete shock, "Freddie?!"._

"_Hey, Sam," He answered casually, as if he wasn't in a coma. And he looked like he wasn't. His skin was normal, he had no bruises, and- wait, why was he wearing a purple suit? "How's... life?"._

"_Well, not boring... but not exactly fun, either. I've picked up where you left off, dork. I'm finding psycho pyro stalker," He nods to me, and sits down on the side of my bed. I sit up and look him dead in the eye. "When I find him or her, he or she is getting a special beating in your honor," At this he chuckled._

"_Well, you wouldn't be Sam otherwise, now would you?" He asks. I shake my head, then ask my own questions:_

"_Why are you here? **HOW** are you here?Why are you wearing that stupid suit? Who tried to kill you? What's the meaning of life?" I ask, going pretty fast. He stops me after that last question by putting his finger on my mouth._

"_One question at a time, okay, Puckett? I'll answer them in order, mostly: I'm here to check on you, because I was worried about you," Aw. Wait, aw? Your a Puckett, girl, act tough! "Second, it's been theorized that people in coma's have more power within there own mind. Call this the proof," Of course. My only response to that one is:_

"_Your such a geek, Fredweird," I smile playfully as he rolls his eyes._

"_Whatever, Sam. Third, well, that's a long story. I'll tell you when I wake up. Believe me, I hate this suit too, but I gotta where it," I raise one eyebrow, "As for your final question... 42," I chuckle at that private little joke, "And last, well... I'm sorry, Sam, I can't tell you that," I glared at him._

"_Why not?!"._

"_Because," he states in a matter-of-fact tone, "I can't give you the answer. I don't know why, it's like something is stopping me. I can't explain it. But, I'm sure you're doing great on your own," Yeah, right._

"_Not really, Freddork. I can't do this on my own, I got me a partner, and sadly it's Nevel," Now Freddie raises his eyebrow._

"_Nevel? Why, why not Carly? Isn't she your best friend?" He asks with genuine interest. I snort laugh, which must not look attractive._

"_Some friend. She let Briggs and Howard corrupt her. They showed her the security tapes; she thinks I did it," I say the last part in sadness. Carly is a level-headed girl most times, but occasionally she freaks out. I guess earlier this evening was one of those times._

"_Huh, would've thought Carly's more stubborn than that," Freddie states. Then he pulls me into an unexpected hug. If this was any other situation, I'd probably push him away. Now, I simply embrace him tighter. "Sam..." he says kinda sadly, "I gotta go now,"._

"_No!" I cried out. Not now, not yet!_

"_Sam," he says gently, "It's okay. Don't trust gifts, and keep an eye out for brown eyed clowns," What does that mean?_

"_Bye, Sam"._

"_**NO!**"._

I jolt awake, and look around my room for any proof that what just happened wasn't a dream. When I fail to find any, I start to cry. Again. Stupid tears.

It takes twenty minutes of crying to lull me back to sleep.

* * *

When I arrive at the hospital yesterday, I'm surprised Nevel hasn't shown up yet. I mean, He's _**Nevel**_. He doesn't back out of things like that. He would have at least called me first.

Every moment alone is spent thinking about Freddie and that weird dream. I can't deny it anymore, I miss the nub! And someone sees it fit to torture me with that! I officially hate my life.

After asking the nurse to take me to Freddie (though I already know where he is, I don't wanna get thrown out), she leads me into his room. When I sit next to his bed, nurse takes the cue and leaves. At least she has **SOME** intelligence, unlike most people in this stupid establishment. I smile at Freddie, a real, genuine smile.

"Hey, Fredward," I say. There's no response, but I continue anyways, "What did you mean last night? I know it wasn't just a dream it-it felt so real. I can't explain it," I sighed, "I wish you would just wake up already I've never felt so alone. NEVER. I can't believe I'm saying this but... I need you, Freddork, I need you more than you'll ever know," I feel like crying again. These last few days have really taken a lot out of me. I just need him to wake up.

Without thinking, really, I take his hand in my own, and squeeze it. I'm not sure what I had hoped to accomplish by this, but it doesn't work.

"Please, wake up. For your mom, for Principle Franklin... for me?" I ask as gently as possible. I can't accept that Freddie, one of my best friends- no my BEST friend, is going to die here, trapped inside his own mind. I wonder if he can hear me?

"Please, Puckett," I here the voice I've been both waiting for and dreading for the entire morning, "This isn't some cheesy romance movie. He isn't going to wake up because you give a corny speech. If this **WERE** a cheesy movie, we'd be on break sipping coffee and eating scones," Oh, Nubel.

"Are we going to get to work or not!" I snapped impatiently. Nevel cleared his throat.

"Right. I've got all the needed supplies back at my house. We should really get going. Is our ride ready?" Hey, this is serious chiz! He would doubt me on this. Then again, I don't really trust him either...

"Everything's set! Let's just go already, before I get bored. And you won't like mama when she's bored," I know threatening my only help was probably not the smartest idea. But he made me angry! By making me angry, he started it. Therefore, it's not my fault. Ha! Take that math teacher.

"Alright, Puckett, I'll trust your word on that one. We'll need to start by getting back the evidence against you: the security tapes. Once we have those, I'll scan them for tampering. Considering videos are down-loadable from iCarly dot com, anyone can mess with those tapes if they have the right know-how. If it's not been tampered with, then we'll have to find out how the heck that's possible before finding a way to prove you innocent," Nevel clears his throat. We're now walking out of the hospital. We'd left Freddie's room some time ago. "If we're gonna do this, we gotta do it right, after all," He does have a point there...

"Okay, I'll go along with this," I agree reluctantly, "But the one thing I **DID** get out of Carly was that Ms. Briggs and Mr. Howard have the tapes. How are we gonna get them?" Insert creepy Nevel smirk here.

"Here, Ms. Puckett, we're gonna have to play criminal..."

* * *

And so, will Sam survive partnering with Nevel? Will she clear her name? Will Freddie ever wake up? And what the chiz is a brown eyed clown? Stay tuned for more details at eleven... or sometime tomorrow. Which ever works.


	10. Chapter 10

iBecome a Private Eye

Disclaimer: You know who owns iCarly. You know it's not me. What you don't know is that I write these listening to random songs. Oh wait, now ya do.

Author's Notes: Continued from Nevel's house. The two begin a grand heist. Includes a Randy Jackson obsessed weirdo, Fried Chicken, and... oh look, a distraction!

* * *

Chapter 9: iStalk the Teachers

"...And that's the plan. Any questions?" Asked Nevel as he finished his layout. I had to admit, it was a pretty good plan. But the way he explained it made things seem more complex then they were. I had to guess several times just to keep up. But it wasn't as hard as he made it seem.

The plan was simple: We would split up, myself following Briggs and Nevel going after Howard. After following them to their respective homes, we would wait until they left again and sneak in. We steal the tapes, and anything else we could use, and book it, meeting back up here, at Nevel's home. It was simple, but the explanation took nearly half an hour because Nevel liked to over-complicate things. Not helping anyone!

"No q's, Nevel. Just an observation: If they come home early, or anyone else is in the house, we're as good as busted," He sighed.

"The only person at Howard's house would be his wife, and I can work that into my plan as an asset. The only thing we have to worry about at Briggs house is her cat... if she has one. I just can't see her as a person who'd have company, ya know?" Oh yeah, Nevel. That woman is too crazy for friends. I wonder what they would be like if they existed? Probably dumb, and incredibly obedient. She'd probably like Lewbert.

"Alrighty, then, when do we begin?" I asked. Nevel looks at me before he responds:

"Ms. Briggs is getting her nails done now. She'll be done at eleven," I glance at the clock on the wall. It was ten now... "After she's done, trail her home. My own adventure begins at four. That's when Howard usually leaves the restaurant he hangs out at on Saturdays. I'll include a walkie-talkie for quick communication, and this journal to record stuff you can't bring with you, if you find any," I nod, confident in my ability to snoop around. It's something I've been doing since I was a little girl. I guess nosing into other people's business always satisfies my natural curiosity.

Oh, that reminds me...

"How on earth did you get all this Intel, Nevel?" That's been bugging me since he started talking.

"I know some people. That's of no concern to you, Sam. What you do need to know is that we have a bunch of work to do if we're going to solve this,". I glare hard at him, and he recoils a bit. He's rightfully afraid of me. Ugh, why am I doing this again?!

Suddenly, thoughts of Freddie and my promise fill my mind. And they won't leave.

I am unaware that my expression softened until Nevel says, "Thinking about Fredward again?".

I jump, and nod. Resuming the glaring, I curl my hands into fists. Thinking of Freddie gets me sad, then I think of psycho pyro stalker, and all that sad turns angry. The fists tighten.

"We'd best get started, Sam. Just sitting here is burning day light, and time is something we cannot afford to waste right now," As much as I hate to admit it, the nub's right. We need to get moving if we're gonna catch psycho pyro stalker. Saying our goodbyes (for now) we head out on our own separate paths.

Why do I feel like I'm all alone again?

* * *

I enter the parking lot of the Nail Salon just as Ms. Briggs was leaving. Carefully stalking behind her, as not to be seen, I waited until she had entered the car before I lifted the truck and squeezed myself into the small area between the spare tires and some things in dusty boxes. Needless to say, I don't think she'll be looking back here.

There's one thing I forgot to think about: How incredibly boring this is. I can't go anywhere, for obvious reasons, and there is really nothing to do back here besides talk to myself. And even that was dangerous, because making too noise could attract unwanted attention. The last thing I need at the moment.

So I just wait there, in dead silence, playing some word games Freddie taught to me. He did that, though, because I kept nagging him about being bored. I still do (Hey, can't stop just because I know how to deal with it), but now he tells me to play a word game, and nag him once I've gotten through all of them. And now, there really aren't many left. How long does it take for a grown woman to go to her own house, no matter how creepy it was. Finally, after forever, we stopped.

I listen for Ms. Briggs to leave inside her house before gaining the courage to sneak out of the truck. When I open it, I don't even look : I bolt out of the car and into the shrubs growing around her yard. Then, I sit there and let my eyes adjust to the sunlight. It was so blinding I couldn't even see for the first few moments. When my eyesight turns back to normal, I see Ms. Briggs walking towards her car, muttering under her breath. Well, that was lucky.

"Nevel," I whisper through the walkie-talkie, "I'm in position; Ms. Briggs has left for who knows how long," I glance up again to see the car disappear behind the corner of a neighbor fence. Time to take our plan into action.

"_Alright, Sam," _Nevel responded through the walkie-talkie, _"Remember; the important thing is the tapes. If there is any other evidence, go for it, but be cautious. And don't waste your time if Briggs comes back; Just run,"_ Well, I wasn't gonna stick around and have tea and crumpets with her, now was I?

I put the walkie-talkie back into my backpack before sneaking over to the door and picking it open (Lock pick, duh). After that was done, I entered the semi-familiar territory that was Ms. Briggs home.

If you could even call this place a home! It's a mess! This place is an even bigger mess than the last time I was here. That was with Carly and Freddie some years ago. Now, this place was even creepier. Freddie mentioned an obsession with Randy Jackson. I wonder if that's true?

So, peaking out the window to see if Briggs was here (She wasn't), I opened the closet door. Whether or not I was surprised to find it was right, I'm not sure. What I do know is that Briggs is even crazier than I first guessed. What's so great about Randy Jackson?

I just happen to spot the tapes above the television set. It doesn't look like all of them, so I'm assuming Briggs and Howard predicted I would try to take them back and split up the tapes among themselves. They didn't expect me to have a partner though, did they?

There doesn't look like there would be anymore evidence, so I'm about to leave when the smell of Fried Chicken assaults my nose. Mm, chicken. I want some **SO** bad...

Then I remember that smell wasn't there when I first got here. I gasped and poked my head out the window. Briggs is back. And she brought lunch, a bucket of Fried Chicken. Okay, don't panic, Puckett. You've got several options here.

Option one) You sneak out the backdoor and sneak around the front. She won't see you that way, it's probably easiest.

Option two) You run out front, grab her chicken, and flee before she calls the cops. That way would almost surely get me arrested, but it's classic Sam!

Option three) You hide in her house and wait until she says something useful. Then, you run like a chicken with it's head cut off. That might help the investigation.

So, which option would you pick? As for myself, I'm going with option three. We need as much Intel as possible, and eavesdropping is the only way to get it from these crazy teachers. I hate to say it, but I'll have to count on Nevel to get the rest of those tapes. Oh boy.

At any rate, I'm hiding in the closet now, watching through the key hole. Ms. Briggs puts her bucket of Fried Chicken on the coffee table, and then makes a phone call.

"Hello, Mr. Howard," Gasp! The two mean teachers have each others phone numbers, "Yes, everything's in place. As soon as Puckett enters the school grounds, we'll have the proof we need to send her to Juvie... and then adult jail!" She cackles, just like this is some hilarious joke. And my conviction is the punch line! I gotta warn Nevel!

I take off my book-bag to get the walkie-talkie, and accidentally smash it into something. Gulp.

All of a sudden the door opens, and I must look like a deer in the headlights to Ms. Briggs. She stares in shock before anger replaces that feeling.

"What are you doing in my home?!" She demands. There is no way I can get away from her. Unless... nah, no way she's that stupid. But still, it couldn't hurt to try...

"Hey, look! A distraction!" She turns around, and I waste no time being surprised. I sprint out the door faster than you can say, "Ham!". Nevel is going to laugh about this one...

* * *

"...You're kidding? She fell for the distraction bit?" Nevel was more incredulous than amused. I seriously can't believe I got away. The adrenaline from that moment carried me several blocks away from Briggs house. I was at Nevel's before she could call the police. I don't think she will, though. The only thing missing was the security tapes, and she wasn't supposed to have those, as I do recall.

"Yeah. This is only half the videos, though. I think Howard has the other half," Nevel nodded in confirmation.

"That would be logical. I guess I still have to go, then. You should go home, Sam. That's all we've gotta do for today," Alright. I kinda wish we could've made more progress, but you can't always get what you want. Nevel says he's planned this all out though, and I'm forced to trust him. I mean, he **DID** almost shut down iCarly more than once.

"All right. I'm gonna visit Freddie one more time before going home, though," I saw a nubby smirk make it's way onto Nevel's face. It doesn't make me feel nervous or angry, but rather embarrassed. I can't place this feeling.

"Very well then, Sam. I'll see you back here in the morning, and we'll go over those tapes," I get up and walk out the front door. I'm going to visit Freddie, give a call to Marissa, and go home. Very simple, I should be able to do it and remain in one piece.

So why do I feel so anxious?

* * *

Longest chapter yet, I believe. Not one of my best, though.


	11. Chapter 11

iBecome a Private Eye

Disclaimer: Wanna hear a funny joke? I own iCarly! Ha! Ha! But seriously, I don't guys.

Author's Notes: Alright, so in this next chapter, Sam buys flowers for Freddie! But that's not all that happens, cause that would be boring. Continue!

* * *

Chapter 10: iOverhear a Plot

…What would Freddie say if he were here?

That's what's going through my mind as I walk down towards a row of shops. I decided to walk to the hospital, it's only a ten-minute commute. I mean, would he be mad at me for teaming up with Nevel? Would he be proud of my securing the tapes? Why does all this matter, anyways?

"Ugh," I groan to myself. This entire thing has been so stressful. I need to get my mind off it.

That dream replays in my head. I probably should have told Nevel about it, but he would dismiss it, probably. I mean, it wasn't real but at the same time it was. I know I was asleep, but I can still feel the warmth of the comforting hug he pulled me into. Or maybe I'm just losing my mind. I wonder when, and if, he's gonna wake up. If he can't, Marissa told me she'll wait until I solve the mystery to pull the plug. That way I can tell him he's avenged before he dies.

My mind rejects the idea of Freddie dying, and focuses on Forget-Me-Nots, which happens to be Freddie's favorite flower. I, myself, find them very beautiful, and there not too common as favorites, so they absolutely described me. Hey, why not get some for his room?

He'd probably want that.

While walking down to the flower store (They set up close to the hospital so they could sell flowers to people who want to give them to sick people), I think about Nevel's mission. I wonder how that's going down? Whatever, the nub can handle himself. Me, I gotta toughen my act, I've got flowers to buy!

The bell on the side of the door makes a _ding_ noise as I enter. It tells whoever runs this place that they have to put on a fake smile and begin pestering people to buy their _Insert Product Here_.

"Well, howdy there, young lady. Looking to buy flowers for your man?" The man behind the counter says with a creepy smile. I look at him like his head was on backwards. It might have been, but I couldn't tell, he was wearing a hat. A cowboy hat. Who wears a cowboy hat anymore?

"No, getting some Forget-Me-Nots for my friend. He's in the hospital down the road," I don't know how I managed to keep cool. That guy thought Freddie was my BOYFRIEND?!

"Well, I'll go getchya some, little miss. Just stay here," Little miss? What am I, five?

"Whatever, weirdo," I say neutrally, and he leaves. He's a cowboy. A COWBOY! How am I gonna take him seriously with that stupid hat? My thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of the bell above the door.

"Alright, boys, let's get the flowers and get outta here. I can feel this place draining my manliness," A deep masculine voice states behind me. Something about it makes me tense in anxiety. I don't like him already.

I don't know why, but I duck behind the nearby shelf of carnations (Carly made me get some once), and watch as a man and his gang walks up to the counter. Remember the biker dude from the movies, with the leather jacket and bandanas and tattoos? This was him.

"Hey, boss, what's the plan again?" Asks one of the bigger, but probably dumber (judging solely by his voice) biker dudes.

"Ugh, do I have to go over this again? Why can't GiGi give me more intelligent henchmen," Hey, remember that paranoid feeling of anxiety I got from that guy? I was right. I think GiGi might by psycho pyro stalker, or at least some sort of criminal.

"Alright, idiots, here's how it's going down. We sneak into the hospital room, yea?" I am already not liking this, "Then, when there's no one around, we replace his IV with this," He holds up a glass container. I can see some sort of clear liquid splashing around inside it. Again, not good, "Then, we head out, and get payed by the big guy," All the henchmen nodded in agreement, laughing, as though committing murder was an everyday joke. These people are terrible! They give bikers a bad name!

"So, what is that stuff, anyway?" The henchman labeled 'Stupid' asked. Their boss snorted.

"How should I know? I ain't no chemist. All I know that once an ounce of this stuff is inside that Benson boys body, he'd be lucky to live through the hour!" I'm sorry, did he say Benson?! He did **NOT** just say Benson!

"Howdy, gentlemen, what can I get yal?" The cowboy guy asks. Boss looks up.

"Oh, just some roses for my gal. Now hurry it up, we have a... delivery to complete," Delivery my smoked ham sandwich! That dude is going to murder Freddie! My mind is still digesting this. The cowboy nods, and wordlessly hands him the bouquet. Boss pays and leaves, which I won't detail cause that's **BORING**!

Once he leaves, I walk up to the cowboy. He looks at me and announces my bouquet is ready. Once he hands them to me, I fork over the money and run.

Only one thing plays through my mind, like a broken record: I gotta stop them, or I'll be planning my best friend's funeral!

* * *

Okay, not as good as my other chapters, is it? I need to get pumped up! Next chapter will be more interesting, I promise!

End Chapter ten.


	12. Chapter 12

iBecome a Private Eye

Disclaimer: No, I don't own iCarly. If I did, I wouldn't be here, now, would I?

Author's Notes: Okay, so can Sam save her dork? Or will he perish in the plot of GiGi? Also, Nevel actually does something useful! (Gasp!)

* * *

Chapter 11: iSave Freddie

"_Hello, you have reached Nevel Papperman. If this is important, leave a message. If not, **HANG UP THE PHONE, YOU IMBECILE!**" _Nevel certainly is a weirdo, isn't he? I personally think he needs therapy. But, seeing as that's not my decision to make, I'll just fill him in on what's going down. Beep.

"Nevel? It's Sam. I don't have much time to explain, just get down to the hospital as fast as you can! Come one, move it! Move it! Move it!" I hang up. Whatever happens, I gotta get there and save Freddie!

Okay, if you don't know this already, while I was buying flowers (don't laugh; I'll punch your nose in before you can finish the first ha!), I overheard a strange stereotype biker dude talk about a plan to murder Freddie in his comatose state! Naturally, I went running as soon as they left. No one is going to touch the dweeb on my watch, or my name is John Jacob Jingleheimer Smitt. But never mind nursery rhymes, I gotta get going!

I listen to the sound of my feet hitting the ground as I tear through the streets. Slap. Slap. They hit concrete over and over again, but I don't seem to be getting anywhere. It's incredibly annoying; I just need to go faster! I so wish I could drive, but I'm fifteen, and fifteen year old's don't drive. End of discussion. Well, where were the teenagers when they had that talk? And why can't I just MOVE FASTER?!?!

After an eternity of running (and I do mean an eternity), I reach the front doors of the hospital. I pant heavily; I guess I'm tired, but I can't give up now! I still have so far to go!

Tightening my grip on the flowers (which, by some miracle, weren't damaged in my sprint), I walk up to the front desk, trying not to look like I ran all the way here. The lady running it looks up at me with tired, bored eyes.

"Yes, can I help you?" She asks. Boredom is clear in her monotone voice. I have half a mind to snap sarcastically at her, but that won't help Freddie. So I hold my tongue and say:

"Yes, I'm here to visit Fredward Benson. May I go in?" Man, I sound like some sort of polite, upper-class girl. The kind I hate!

_Just until you save Freddie,_ The voice in my head tells me. It always knows what to say to inspire my faith and confidence, _Then you can be rude all you want._ Works for me!

"Yes," She drones, "Go ahead, ask someone else where he is," Well, I already know where he is, so thanks for all your help, lady!

I speed walk down the hallway of the hospital. No sprinting here, that could get me thrown out! And if I'm going to save Freddie, I'm going to have to avoid being thrown to the wind like some worn out toy.

I cautiously approach Freddie's door. The only thing I can do at the moment is check to make sure no one's watching, and press my ear to the door, like I've done so many times before. I do so, and I don't like what I hear:

"Alright, gentlemen, here we are. Any last words, Benson? Oh, wait, you can't talk!" This statement is followed by a chorus of laughter. I can't believe their mocking a boy in a coma! No one, not even me, would do that, it's so despicable! GiGi Knew what she (I think he/she's a she. I still dunno) was doing hiring such ruthless jerks. Their stupid, and won't question orders. His/her only mistake? He/she forgot about me!

"Alright!" I yell loudly, entering the room. Now that I think about it, that was probably a stupid move. Oh well, you live once, and you die once, why not take a few risks along the way?

"What the- where did you come from?" The boss guy obviously didn't expect my appearance. Well, let me tell you, you don't cross Sam Puckett (or her friends) and get out of it unscathed. Time for some major hurtage!

"The other side of the door, wing-nut!" I snap back sarcastically. Alright, detective Sam's gonna stay out for a little bit, time for classic Sam to put the _smack_ in smack-down! I'll give these guys a piece of my mind! Then, while they're choking it down, I'll get rid of that poison and kick their butts some more!

With very (and I do mean _very_) little thought, I charge at the biker dudes. Overall, there are five of them, but I think I can take them. 'Stupid', as I'd labeled him earlier, came at me full force. You can see where he got his nickname. I grab him by the hand and judo flip him over, as I'd done with Kyoko and Yuki in Tokyo, at the iWeb awards. So many good memories from fighting, I should do it more often!

Two more come charging at me. They don't learn, do they? Without exerting myself I grab one by the arm, the force of me pushing him causing him to hit his head on something hard, and with his body now limp I swing it into the other guy, who falls down. All three grown in pain.

One who looks slightly smarter than these goons runs up to me, but stops and gets into a martial arts pose. You want to fight someone like me, eh? Well, bring it own! Each with our own war cries, we charge at each other, using chops and kicks like in Kung Fu to try to catch each other off guard. He moves his foot to kick me in the face, but I catch it before it even gets past my chest. He looks at me, fear now evident on his face, and I supply an evil smirk. With no care whatsoever, I bring him in and hit him hard on the head. He lands on the ground, and even I cringe in pain at the sound of his head hitting linoleum. I look around for their leader, and...

Found myself on the ground. At some point he had snuck around me, and was now glaring at me angrily as I sat on the floor. An unknown pain afflicted my head.

"Times up, little girl," He says with a contorted smirk, and pulls out a knife. I didn't know they had weapons!

I brace myself for the blow, the pain the knife would instill through me, and was quite surprised when that didn't happen. When I look up, the surprise from that was even more than the surprise of not being stabbed!

There stood, believe it or not... NEVEL! He must have gotten my message, as he was standing above leader with a strange device in his hand. I could've sworn I've seen it before...

"Well," Nevel says, passing by the knocked out (well, I hope he's knocked out) man and extending a hand to help me up, "It's a good thing I had this tazer on me, huh?" So that's what that is! I knew I'd seen it before somewhere!

Nevel sits me on a nearby stool, and calls for a doctor. When he arrives (Luckily it wasn't the doctor from yesterday), he checks me over (He thinks I might have a concussion), and calls the police. While waiting for them to arrive, I tell Nevel what happened.

"Ah," He says in response, "No wonder you seemed so worried," My eyes widen, and Nevel sees that. "Don't worry, Sam, I can't read minds," Oh yeah? Then how did you know I was thinking that? "You're just that easy of a person to read," Oh, have I really gotten that predictable? "I got that out of the voice tone on your message. And yes, you have gotten that predictable," I glare at him. Still a nub.

"Hey, Nevel," I ask suddenly, while wincing as I take the ice bag off my head (The doctor got it for me), "Do you think you could tell my story to the police? I don't really want to face them right now," I once again wince as Nevel reapplies the ice bag (newly filled) to my head. I don't know why he's being so nice all of a sudden, but it's a little creepy. Maybe he just feels sorry for me, cause I might have a concussion.

"I know you don't want, or need my pity Sam," Stupid nub! I really gotta start getting less predictable. It's killing me. "I'm doing this because we're partners, and, like it or not, I'm forced to stick by your side throughout this whole odyssey," Okay, that was... unexpected. Though I'm pretty sure I've mentioned that Nevel's weird.

"Thanks... Nubel," Hey, I'm not going to be TOO soft on him just yet. Though he did save my life, I still don't know if I can trust him just yet.

I take a side glance at Freddie. He looks so peaceful, I wonder what's going on in his mind... He'll tell me when he wakes up though. By now, most of his color's returned. It's a good sign, he might wake up soon.

I hope so. Though I know I can count on Nevel now, for some strange reason I still want Freddork by my side...

* * *

And so the mystery continues! Sam and Nevel are getting to trust each other a little more, and Nevel shows us he's not completely useless in a fight! Who knew?

So, anyway... Freddie would want you to review, and so do I. So please, review. For the story.


	13. Chapter 13

iBecome a Private Eye

Disclaimer: No iCarly ownership here. Sorry, but I bet you can find it in Hollywood!

Author's Notes: Ya know, I would've at least one of you would figure out who GiGi is. Nobody knows? Really, cause there is one in iCarly. Ya just gotta look carefully.

* * *

Chapter 12: iAwaken the Dork... Momentarily

"Hey, Fredweird," I say calmly and gently as I approach his bed. Nevel made me get changed, and get my head checked (Luckily I did not have a concussion), before leaving and telling me to get some sleep, as it has been a long day. And he's right. Today has been, to put it in plain terms, the longest day of my life. I don't think I've ever been more tired.

I gently sit on the side of Freddie's bed and take in his complexion, which is almost back to normal. Or at the very least, it's less pale now. I still can't help but think that he had tried to tell me something in my dreams. It might be crazy, but I know!

"Ugh, Freddie... what are you trying to tell me? Let me tell ya, your brilliant dream plan isn't working out so well. Yeah, I get it, brown-eyed clowns equal bad, but how is that gonna help me?" I sighed, leaning backwards in anxiety. "Is there anyway to crack this case? It's so confusing! Someone just send me a sign, already!" I don't know who I'm screaming it to. If GiGi can hear it, then so be it!

By now, I'm almost positive 'GiGi' is our culprit. Nevel agrees with me, saying he'll do some internet research tonight. He got the rest of the tapes, but at some point Howard had spilled some sort of drink on them, rendering them useless. He still has my tapes, though, so this day wasn't a total loss.

I look down at Freddie. He looks... calm, peaceful. Lucky. He can sleep through this. I can't help but wonder what it's like to be in a coma. Would he have some cool, near death revelation? Or would he just float there in eternity? Maybe he will discover the secret of life, who knows? Me, I haven't even tried to sleep since I woke up this morning. I have to admit, I'm a little drowsy, but when I close my eyes, all I see is the pieces of the mystery, some blank, some not, flying through my mind oh so gingerly. Then, I see Freddie, being beaten, how much pain he was in. My blood boils, and I wake up immediately to do...** SOMETHING**!

Wow. I'm just realizing this is an obsession. I feel **SO** smart. Probably doesn't help that it's two in the morning. Yeah, I'm staying the night. Not like anyone cares. The doctor already gave me permission, and I've been sitting here ever since.

I hear a groan, and at first believe it's my mind playing tricks on me. Then...

I look down. What I see makes my heart jump. In a good way, though. Not like when you've been flanked and surprised. That feels terrible.

Surely enough, Freddie was groaning in his sleep. Or rather, soon to be consciousness. Am I dreaming this? Please tell me I'm not!

"Ugh... Sam," He groans, then opens his eyes and looks right at me. I look straight into the chocolate brown pools, and my heart stops. Yes, he's awake, but he's still so weak. The doctor did say it's possible for Freddie to wake up for a small moment, then go back to comatose. Still, it's better having a little hope.

"S'okay Freddork, I'm here; Sam's here," Okay, I may be coddling him, but he just came out of a coma, for Pete's sake! And I do not mean Pete, my ex-boyfriend.

"Evil... Mastermind... at Live.." He couldn't even finish that sentence. He convulses into heavy coughs, and I feel my heart crack. No way he can stay awake. But he's gotta try!

"Freddie," I say gently, but urgently, "Whatever you do, don't close your eyes. Look at me, Benson!" I stare him dead in the eye, and force him to do the same. He smiles weakly, then his eyes start dropping.

"Your... Birthday," My birthday? That was... two months ago. What does that have to do with anything? Unless GiGi came to my party. That would confirm that GiGi is someone I know, if it's true. Or did he mean something else by it.

"Sam... I'm tired..." He complained, then let his eyes drop. They close once, and I internally start to panic.

"NO! Come on, Fredapuss, you can't just give up! Please, Freddie, don't!" He smiles weakly at me then, with what must be the last of his strength, pushes himself up and kisses my cheek. I put my hand there and watch Freddie smile as he falls back into his coma. I don't stop him this time; I don't think I can.

Just to make sure that was real, I pinch myself on the side. It hurts so much I yelp, but my mood is happy, because Freddie woke up! That means there is hope for him. I wonder how Nevel would react to this... or should I keep it to myself. Ah, whatever. I wanna see what Nevel does in the morning.

Still smiling contently, I lean against the wall and drift into gentle slumber...

* * *

"Sleep deprevision, and exhaustion," Nevel diagnoses the next time he sees me. Yup, I told him. It's a beautiful Sunday morning, seven-thirty and I am ready to work! Though I don't know what will happen next, I do know that we're running out of time, and Nevel's too concerned about my health to focus on the mission!

"Hey dweeb, will you just listen to me?!" I snap at him. Nevel recoils, but doesn't move too far back. Showing he trusts me a bit more. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? "I know what happened last night was real! I wouldn't make up this chiz!"

To my surprise (Pleasant, this time) Nevel nods in confirmation. He looks at me for a moment and asks, "What did he say? Exact wording, please," I nod, and lay down on the floor.

"Evil... Mastermind... at Live..." I said in the same fashion as Freddie did. Hey, I'm not mocking him, I'm impersonating him, which is totally different!

Nevel stares at me with a raised eye brow. Obviously not getting what I'm going at, I repeat the entire conversation between me and Freddie: Word for word. By the time I'm done, Nevel has a smirk on his face. Hey, that's my patented _I know something you don't know_ smirk! He can't use that without my permission, or I can sue him! No, legally, I can.

"Alright," Nevel wiped the smirk off his face. Smart move, "Let's get serious. The evidence he got was a laptop, correct?" Insert nod of head here, "Okay, then it's probably something computer related. What was Freddie doing while you were talking to him?" I bit my lip and forced myself to remember.

"Um... he was on the internet, checking out a website of some sort," I recall. He never said what website it is. Now, I'm thinking that's important.

Nevel nods, and brings out his laptop (How could I have missed him bringing that?). He types some things and clicks somethings, and then gasps.

"Of course, how did I not see this before? Sam, it's..."

* * *

Behold, the mighty cliffhanger! Seddie in this chapter, woohoo! Also, the website is real. Can anyone guess it?

Review please? Ah, I'm too tired to force you: I'm gonna get some shut eye.


	14. Chapter 14

iBecome a Private Eye

Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly. I don't think I can, actually!

Author's Notes: Cliffhangers have never been a friend of mine. So, here it is, continued straight from the last chapter.

* * *

Chapter 13: iTrace an E-mail

"Sam, it's... an e-mail address!" Huh? Evil mastermind at live did not seem like an e-mail address!

Nevel continues on, either not noticing or ignoring my confusion, "It's an e-mail address at . The address is . I'm having trouble believing that an evil mastermind would use hotmail. But, what can you do if the bad guys an idiot, eh?" I try my hardest not to make a smart remark at that last comment.

"Okay, lets say it's an e-mail address. Can't you hack it?" I move and sit next to Nevel. On the laptop is the home page of hotmail, and I take a double take. The dweeb is right! The address had been typed into the address box.

"It's not that simple, Sam. I can't hack on without the password," Shoot. Why couldn't Freddie have told me the password before he fell asleep again? Did he not know it?

Wait... maybe he did tell me!

"Give me that," I demand, and without waiting for him to carry out my request, I take the laptop. Hey, on the job or not, I'm still Sam Puckett. Impatient and brash, that's me!

I try typing in the only other thing Freddie told me: My birthday. I hope this works. Nevel is whining about me taking his laptop, and trying to take it back. I don't pay any attention as I finish typing in my birth date in the box.

"Here, you're on," I tell him, handing him the laptop. Should I be surprised that it worked? Or be surprised that the nonsense of a comatose person actually helped me? Either way, I'm surprised. I'm also careful not to show it, though.

Nevel, however, was visibly baffled. His jaw was hanging open all comical like, and his eyes are bugging out of his head. It would be funny if this were the time and place for comedy. But since it isn't, it's slightly annoying.

"Close your mouth; your attracting flies," I tell him, and he closes his mouth, though manages to look no less baffled. Strange, but now is not the time for questions; now's the time for action.

"A-alright," Nevel still hasn't recovered from bafflement, but he still manages to talk. Now, he recovers, shaking his head, "I'll just have a look around, and... one new e-mail. I'll open it," Ya don't have to tell me, Nubel. It's kinda obvious what your doing.

"Well?" I ask impatiently as he reads. He rolls his eyes, but otherwise ignores me.

Okay, the message reads:

_Dear Mastermind, _(Obvious they're being careful about real names)

_I've set everything up in place. Sam's so busted! She has no clue it's me, she's so stupid!_

(Here I scowl angrily, Nevel's eyes me cautiously, but doesn't move)

_Everything's been set up for the framing, sir! Soon, Sam will be in jail, and you and I will be celebrating that pest's imprisonment! She so deserves it! Just waiting for your next order, sir._

(Upon reading this, I realize something I suspected, but didn't want to happen: There's more than one of them. GiGi is one, but who's the other guy/girl? And who's who, here?)

_Sincerely, _

_Trickster_

Okay, so whoever framed me was Trickster, and the mastermind was GiGi. If he's (No more gender confusion, yeah!) making the orders, then he'll have hired those guys to take out Freddie. Freddie knows, he's a threat to their plan... and all along I was the main component. Stupid GiGi, stupid Trickster, stupid everyone who fell for their plan! Yes, that includes Carly.

"Well... I think I can track this e-mail," Says the Nubel. I look towards him in utter disbelief.

"Seriously?!" I'm incredulous, this is getting too easy... and when things get easy in a mystery, that's when you know the villain's planning something... or maybe I've just seen too many lame mystery movies.

"Really, Puckett," Nevel assures me. I's still not sure this is a good idea, but I guess we should go through with it. This could be our only lead...

"Go for it, Nub,".

* * *

It's hard waiting for Nevel to be done. I talk to Freddie some more, hoping it will help him. Maybe he'll wake up again, soon. I hope so.

"Sam, I found it," Nevel announces gleefully when he finds it. I merely snort.

"You'll get your medal AFTER we put Trickster and GiGi behind bars," I tell Nevel, mostly to ruin his condescending mood. It's not easy for me to put up with him while Freddie's in a coma... in the same ROOM! He could at least be a little more respectful. Then again, I'm probably not one to talk there, am I?

"Alright," he reluctantly agrees, and we take off. Out of the hospital, we have Marissa drive us to the address on Nevel's laptop. I guess I was a little surprised when we got there.

"Trickster sent that e-mail from the LIBRARY?!" Okay, maybe more than a little.

"That's what my computer tells me," Nevel agrees. I look towards Marissa.

"Thanks, Marissa. We'll give you a call if we have any updates," It's best not to let her in on our entire plan, Nevel tells me, but I'm still a little upset about not being able to clue her in. It's her son who was almost killed (Which she doesn't know about), and it's her son's life we're fighting for. I still can't believe she trusts me. Then again, she probably knows I'm the only hope in this case, too.

"Alright, you two, be careful," She tells us, as if her motherly instinct is telling her something bad is gonna happen. I hope for our sake it's wrong.

We nod, and agree. Both heading in, we split up: Nevel will determine which computer was used in hopes of finding and possibly hacking into Trickster's account. I will deal with librarians, asking who was in this library before us.

"Hey," I say to the librarian. The head (her name tag reads A. Peters) looks up to me and smiles in recognition.

"Oh, hello. I'm assuming your here to get the book you forgot?" What? I've never set foot in a library in my life! But it's probably best to play along for now. They might help me if they think I'm who they think I am.

"Okay. Oh, and if I come in here later, tell me Mastermind wants to meet at Bushwell. I'll understand, though I might not remember telling you. I've got a short-term memory," Peters looks at me oddly, then shrugs and returns to her work. I take the book she put down on the desk. The title is "Little Woman". Odd title for a book, but this may be a clue. I'd better get Nevel.

"Okay," he said as I'd explained my discovery, "That's... a little creepy, but I can handle it. Found the address but it's not much use: I can't crack the password on that one," I can feel my head swim; my lack of sleep is starting to get to me, but I don't let it affect me just yet.

"What do we do now?" I seriously don't know. I just want to find these two, and punish them in the most severe form possible!

"We should probably interview the witnesses: Gibby and Valerie, were they?" I nod in confirmation; looks like we're facing the people who made me a suspect...

Should I wait until before or after they give us our answers before beating them up?

* * *

Alright, then, the two finally make sense of Freddie's clue. The website is real, by the way. How come none of you guessed that?

Also, GiGi is a character in the show... try thinking outside the box and in the name! BIG HINT!

Review! NOW!


	15. Chapter 15

iBecome a Private Eye

Disclaimer: I'm sorry, this is not the owner of iCarly. Please check the number, or try your call again.

Author's Notes: So... do you want the good or bad news now? Good news: Sam and Nevel are closer now! Bad news: There's actually only a few chapter's left in the story. Or is that good news? Wait, do you think I make this stuff up from the top of my head? I don't think even Agatha Christie can do that!

* * *

Chapter 14: iInterrogate

"Hey, Gibby,"

The boy who never seems to wear a shirt looks up at us, screams, and runs in the opposite direction like a chicken with it's head cut off. As amusing as this is, We don't need entertainment, we need answers.

It becomes clear that Nevel agrees with me when he steps forward, and pushes his taser to the boy's back. He's getting as impatient as me. I mentioned this earlier, and he said, "I know, I'm worried," which was quite rude, if you ask me. Insert point of irony here.

"Alright, Gibson, you'll tell us what we want to know, or I'll taz you. Don't think I'm not afraid to use this thing!" Wow, and HE'S supposed to be the sensible one. Way to be cool there, Papperman. Maybe I should be worried...

"Alright, I admit it! I stole twenty bucks from Mr. Howard, please don't turn me in!" Wow, what an animal! Still, why would shirtless boy need money? I'd assume he'd ask his mommy for it. Aren't all nerds mama's boys?

"Dude, we don't care about that! We didn't even know about that until YOU brought it up!" Then I mumble under my breath, "Idiot...".

"Oh," He seems a little more relaxed now. I should have made us stop by my house and get that pick-ax. He would freak! Anyway, Gibby now sits down and calmly asks, as though I'm not a tormenter, and Nevel's not an iCarly villain, "So, whataya wanna know?".

"You were a witness against Ms. Puckett," Ugh, I hate that almost as much as I hate Samantha. Not enough to kill Nevel, like I almost did with Samantha, but still. "We need you to tell us EVERYTHING you know. Even if it's something we don't wanna hear, tell us everything. If you do that, I'll keep Sam from killing you," Yeah, like you have that kind of strength.

"Okay," Nevel agrees calmly, as if we just asked him to pick up a pencil, "Here's how it goes: I was walking down the hall to my locker, but on the way there, I bumped into Sam. She growled that she wasn't in the mood for this, but continued on without hurting me, which I found odd," Okay, I never ran into Gibby on the morning in question: I was late and ran straight to class, "She was acting weird, well, weirder than normal," I growl in slight anger. **HE** has the nerve to call **ME** weird?! Nevel grabs my arm and squeezes it to calm me down. Oddly enough, it works slightly. "So I followed her until she reached the door to the basement, then she slipped down. I decided she wasn't worth following and headed to class. And that's pretty much it,"

I could feel my anger building up. I needed to hit something, or I would beat up this nub with all my energy. So I settle for hitting Nevel in the shoulder. He winces, but doesn't respond other than that: Either he's in too much pain, or he understands I had to do it. Either way, it felt good.

"Thank you for your time, geek. Now beat it!" Suddenly Gibby got scared again, and bolted away from us. I had to admit, that went better than I thought it would. All of my mental scenarios ended with me beating Gibby to a pulp.

"That went better than expected, don't you think?" I asked Nevel. Should I be surprised when he glares at me in that sweet combination of anger and annoyance Freddie usually uses?

* * *

"Hello, Ma'am. Is Valerie home?" I ask in a super polite, good girl tone. It's not that hard, I just act like my sister Melanie. When we were little, we would switch places for a day at a time to see if anyone could tell us apart. That required knowing each other from front to back. I know her like the back of my hand. But, back to business.

"Why, hello, Samantha," I swallow my disdain for the name as Nevel glaces at me nervously "Yes, she is. Did you come to visit her?" No, lady, I came here to tell you the sky is falling. I force myself not to make a smart remark as I reply:

"Yes, ma'am,"

"She's up in her room," The stupid mother of stupid Valerie informs me, "Just go up the stairs, third door on the right," Well, at least stupid people are good for something. Just look at modern politics!

Nodding, we head upstairs. I can hear music playing behind the door that is Valerie's. Good, she won't hear us coming. I signal to Nevel to quietly open the door. He does so, and we tip-toe into Valerie's room. She's currently on her computer. Using a trick one of my Juvie buddies taught me, I sneak up on her and grab her neck with my arm, which is wrapped securely around her body. She can't escape, and I whisper, "Yell for help and I'll suffocate you," She nods in understanding, and I signal for Nevel to close and lock the door.

"So, Valerie," I begin casually, as if this wasn't a offense, and I could go to Juvie just for this, "I want you to tell me everything you know about what happened at school. Who set it on fire, and why do you believe it was me?" Valerie whispered, in a scared, slightly panicked voice:

"I-I thought I saw you! You passed by me, with an evil smirk, and headed towards the b-basement," She's having a tough time speaking and breathing, so I loosen my grip slightly; just enough so she can speak. "I followed you down and you set the basement classrooms on fire! With some sort of gas! Then I left to tell someone. That's all I know, I swear!" She looks so distressed, I believe her, and release her.

"Why are you here, anyway? Shouldn't you be in Juvie?" Didn't miss a beat there, did ya sunshine?

"Listen," I state as calmly as possible at current moment, "I'm not guilty, and I'm proving it. I assure you your witness account is appreciated. Come on, Papperman," Nevel unlocks the door, and we leave the room, and quickly the home of, Valerie.

Two suspects. No definite answers. This is getting troublesome...

* * *

"Alright, Sam, what will we do tomorrow after school?" Nevel asks me at the Groovy Smoothie. Neither of us have any ideas on what to do next, so we came here.

Dude, thanks, but let's face it, we're sunk," I said softly, while sipping my smoothie. How can we prove it wasn't me if we don't even know who we're up against? Sighing, I ask, "Can I borrow your laptop?"

"Sure, but why?" Nevel asks as he hands me his laptop. I log into my e-mail account and reply, "Just sending my sister an e-mail. Letting her know I'm going to jail; no biggie," I type up the e-mail as Nevel informs me he did not know I had a sister.

"Yup, we're identical twins," Nevel responds by spit taking his smoothie all over my t-shirt. Ew, Nevel spit! Disgusting!

"You didn't think it would be helpful to tell me you had a TWIN SISTER!?" Nevel shouts in my face. I really don't see what the big deal is. So what if he doesn't know everything about me. Boohoo, stinks for him. Stupid nub.

"SAM, DON'T SEND THAT E-MAIL!" Nevel shouts at me, "DON'T YOU GET IT?! THE WITNESS ACCOUNTS OF YOU, THE LIBRARIAN RECOGNIZING YOU, ANYTHING?!" Wow, he's really chizzed off. I start to put the pieces together in my head, and I don't like the end result. At all.

But still, it makes to much sense to not fit together like that. "No..."

"Yes, Sam, and I'm sorry, but your twin sister is Trickster," Nevel says to me with a lot of sorrow in his voice.

And I think my brain died.

* * *

Uh, yeah. Poor Sam. I've had my brain die on me before, too. Not a pleasant feeling.

Okay, SO many of you guessed that it was Melanie! And you were right, all of you! But, there's still GiGi. Any guesses on who she/he is?

"WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T CLICK THAT REVIEW BUTTON!" Oh, shut up, Nevel.


	16. Chapter 16

iBecome a Private Eye

Disclaimer: _Insert something that says I do not own iCarly here_.

Author's Notes: Uh, wow. Only a handful have guessed it. Well, anyways, in this chapter, Sam professes her love for... BROCCOLI?! Or does she? Read and find out if Sam truly loves the broccoli, or if she once again betrays it with the carrot.

* * *

Chapter 15: iEscape Death

I am angry.

No, cancel that, I am FURIOUS! I can't believe Melanie, my own sister, would set something on fire and blame it on me. It isn't her thing, she's not the trouble-making twin, she's the good twin who gets the good grades and makes other chicks envious of her. She's too perfect, she can't be evil!

And yet, it makes too much sense not to be true.

Just think about it, the witness accounts, the fact that the librarian recognized me, the fact that she knew how to get me right where she wanted me... it could only be my sister.

At first I was in denial. So, Nevel looked up her school. Turns out, she doesn't go to Sunside Cliffs. It's not even a school, it's a set of apartment buildings in California! So, where's she been all these years? Does mom know about it? And why would she try to put** ME** in jail?!

Anyway, it's four o'clock in the afternoon. We had made better progress today then I realized. Interrogating the weirdo Gibby, and the princess, Valerie, we got this book entitled _Little Women_ (Which I still think is a weird title), and we figured out who Trickster was; even if it was someone I didn't want her to be.

So, I'm heading home. Nevel told me I should tell all this to my mom, but I don't know. Melanie is her perfect twin, and if she goes to jail... mom would freak, I know she would. If she even believes me, that is. She hasn't been paying any attention to what's going on, though. She doesn't even know about Ridgeway! Maybe I should tell her, but I dunno. All I know is that I've gone nearly twenty hours without ham, and need some real bad!

"Hold up there, Puckett!" Who would be calling out to me now? I turn around and was met with a punch to the face.

When my mind clears, I'm lying on the ground, five familiar figures above me. Oh great, Stereotype biker dude is here. And he punched me. Haven't these clowns learned not to mess with Samantha J. Puckett?

"What do you bozos want? And shouldn't you be in jail?" That last though just occurred to me. Why aren't they locked up in a cell in a Washington State Maximum Security Prison?

"Well, we got out. And we've been hired for a different job: Taking YOU out!" Oh, right. Like that should scare me? These clowns couldn't beat up a tissue box!

"Oh, and this time, we've gotten ourselves prepared," Their leader says as they surround me with knives and iron knuckles. Oh. I'm sunk, aren't I?

"AAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Okay, I'm panicked. I really hope Nevel and his tazer show up. Much as I hate to admit it, I've come to trust the little maggot. I still think he's creepy, though. But, as once said by a wise man (Or dumb cartoon character), 'You can pick your friends, and you can pick your knows, but you can't pick your friend's knows'. I guess I can't be too picky here, huh?

"You can scream and run, but you can't hide from us, girly!" The head clown calls after me. My feet ache as I run down a nearby alleyway. Wait, alleyway? Come on, how cliched can you get?

"Oh, SSSAAAAMMIIII??" He calls all sing-song like. That is incredibly annoying when your the one being sing-songed. Guess since I'm always doing the sing-songing, I've never noticed how incredibly, immensely irritating it can be. You know, maybe I should stop with all the irony, huh?

Realizing that there's nothing but brick wall at the end of the alleyway (More clichéness), I hide in a conveniently placed trashcan. It's very important to not move, and make as little noise as possible. Those guys have metal fists and sharp scalpels! How can I face them with bare fists and half a year of karate classes?

After two or so moments, I hear them leave the alleyway and figure they're gone. Wow, these guys are stupid! How does a fifteen year old girl disappear in an alleyway with no fire escape, and the only exit blocked by idiots with weapons. These boys never stood a chance against the clever cunning of Sam Puckett!

Unfortunately, I spoke too soon, as the moment I'm out of that trashcan, someone picks me up by the throat. I glance downwards and see it's the ringleader. Ironically enough, he has brown eyes...

"Well, now, Puckett," He tightens his grip, and I wince. Insert bad guy's smirk of satisfaction, "You seemed to have caused quite a lot of trouble. But I'm a generous man. I'll give you five more seconds to live before I suffocate you ta death," I begin to think. There must be some way out of this. So many people are depending on me! Nevel, Marissa, Principle Franklin, Spencer (I think), and Freddie...

My mind fills with thoughts of the dork. From our smallest fights, to our first kiss. Why does this matter so much? I thought you were supposed to have some sort of revelation when you're about to die. So why's the dork haunting my inner dwellings? Wait, inner dwellings? Ugh, I gotta stop listening to Nevel.

"Any last words?" The bad guy asks as my five seconds run out. I can't die, not yet! I look down the alley and see the shadow of a cat. No Nevel coming to rescue me. No Freddie, no Carly, no Spencer. Just empty space. Well, minus that cat.

"Yeah," I choke out, "Tell the broccoli... I love it. I really do. I shouldn't have cheated on it with the carrot, but it was gone for so long and the temptation was driving me nuts! But I loved it, I still do and always will. Oh, I was a fool, Broccoli, a fool!" My plan works, all five of them are deeply confused by my strange profession. Sorry, Broccoli, I never loved you and I never will!

"Hiya!" I kick the guy holding me in the nuts. The most cliched attack move of the current century, but I prefer being cliched to being dead. The other guys gasp at their fallen leader, and I try to make a break for it.

Keyword: **TRY**.

I make it half-way down before dumbo grabs me, with both arms locked around mine so I can't escape. I try to, but he's too strong for me. Finally, my fatigue sets in, and I'm exhausted. One of the other guys holds up the boss, who's still trying to catch his breath. Ha, at least I go down knowing I got him good!

"That's it, Puckett! I was gonna take it easy on you, but you asked for it!" He brings out the knife. I feel the oddest sense of déjà vu as I close my eyes, waiting for the pain. And once again, it never happens.

Instead, I hear an "Oomph!" as the guy behind me lets go, and drops to the ground with a thump. I waste no time and bring my fist up, knocking out the ringleader. I punch the two guys on his left out, and look behind me, half-expecting to see Nevel, and not at all expecting who was there.

"Valerie?!" Yes, the princess herself had been my savior. I am absolutely stupefied.

"Oh, hey Sam," She says, and knees the other guy straight in his blue jean sitter. Ow, that's gotta hurt. Ya know, I'm really thankful I'm not a guy. Especially after today.

"Don't you, ya know, hate my guts?" I'm confused out loud. She turns back to me.

"Call this, making up for trying to steal Freddie from iCarly. I still watch it every week, by the way," She smiles all friendly like. I get the same feeling from her that I got from Nevel at first: Not to be trusted, but at the same time, trying to help. Despite myself, I smile at her. Her expression suddenly turns serious as she begins talking again.

"Sam, I just saw a you look-alike heading for the school! I'm not sure what's going on, and I don't think I wanna know, but we'd better hurry!" I give her a firm glance.

"No, **I** need to hurry. **YOU** need to get Nevel, and tell him to meet me at Ridgeway. It's time to stop this once and for all," I am all serious and dark. Unusual for me, but this entire week-end has been all topsy-turvy on me. Weird, as I'd lost my best friend, gained a new one, was saved by my arch-enemy, saved again by **ANOTHER** arch-enemy, and forced to go from dumb blonde to detective.

Valerie looks worried, "But what if-?" I cut her off, not rudely.

"Valerie, my look-alike is my **TWIN SISTER**," I emphasize twin sister, "That makes it my job to stop her. But I'll need you and Nevel by my side to face the mastermind, GiGi," Valerie, obviously despite herself, giggles.

"What kind of villain is called GiGi?" She burst into laughter. I feel tempted to join her, cause it is kinda funny, but I know I can't.

"Just go get Nevel," I might have sounded harsh, but I don't mean to. Valerie turns serious after a moment and jogs towards Nevel's house. I head in the opposite direction, to the school.

"Okay, Trickster, it's time to end this once and for all,"

* * *

And yet another cliffhanger by Opposite of Fire! Unexpected twist with Valerie in there, but it couldn't be Nevel because:

A) Nevel shouldn't be at the sister showdown. It just wouldn't feel right.

B) How would I explain Nevel's unexpected appearance? I'd feel obliged to, while with Valerie, I can let your minds wander.

And... I personally think this is the best chapter yet. Small hints of Seddie, and plenty of drama! But, that's just this author's opinion. I'd know yours if you'd review...


	17. Chapter 17

iBecome a Private Eye

Disclaimer: ylraCi nwo t'nod I.

Author's Notes: Woohoo, go Sam! Melanie, ya better look out! Sorry, just pumped for this chapter for some reason! Meh, don't mock me, you've been waiting for the deadly sister showdown since I told you it was Melanie and you know it! Well, adios!

* * *

Chapter 16: iTrickster

I carefully entered the school building. The guards weren't here; They must either be off-duty, or stupid. Either way, I made it into the Ridgeway school without any problems. It was really, immensely dark. Whoever plotted this must be a big fan of cliches. I carefully stepped forward. Now, I know this school like the back of my hand (How else do you think I can sneak out so easily?), so getting around wasn't the problem. The problem was the foreboding sense of dread in the dark halls.

Sorry, went all poet on ya. Anyways...

I glanced around the school, looking for my look-alike, Melanie. She's gotta be here somewhere. I'm not sure where, but she's here, doing something under the instruction of GiGi, AKA Mastermind, AKA Psycho Pyro Stalker Dude. What should she be planning that requires returning here? I've got a bad feeling about this...

"Melanie!" I called out to her, "Come show yourself, coward!" Even though Melanie was pretty girly, it was almost unheard of to call a Puckett a coward. There was one man in history who survived it, and he... well, lets just say he had problems. Sure enough, my sister showed herself, in the doorway between the school hallway and Ms. Briggs room.

"Well, didn't take you too long to figure out, did it?" She smirks in self-satisfaction, looking only too much like me. Her hair, once straight, had been curled like mine, and she is wearing a t-shirt, jacket, and cargo pants that, once again, made her look so much like me. At least her lame, pink style gave us individuality. Now that I see us up close... man, this is creepy.

"Oh, like my new clothes? I call it, 'Puckett: Sam style'. I really make it work, don't I?" I gritted my teeth as she smirks. She knows me like the back of her hand. It's kinda a twin thing, I couldn't explain it to you. Unless you yourself were a twin, it's not easy to explain our bond. Even now, I still know her better than I know myself. That's why I'm not afraid, because we know each other so well. It's only a matter of time until we fight, but I'd like to delay it as long as possible. Or at least, catch her off guard. So I speak to her:

"Well, I didn't think you would ever have the nerve to do something like this. Why, Mel?" She steps out into the hallway, and we begin to walk around in a circle, staying parallel to each other. Basic combat rule: Never let your opponent outflank you, it'll spell your defeat. And Melanie and I both know this oh so well.

"Didn't miss a beat there, did ya sis?" She rolls her eyes at me, "But it's simple; I'm the good child, and your the bad egg. I'm simply putting you where you belong: In jail," I grit my teeth; it's too early to attack just yet. So, I have to buy myself more time.

"You pretended to go to boarding school when you were really who-knows-where, set a school on fire, blame it on your twin, and spend the time she takes to prove herself innocent to incriminate her... and you say **I'M** the bad egg in the family," Melanie glares daggers at me, but responds, in a voice making it obvious she's trying to keep her cool:

"I'm doing this for the good of the Puckett family!" She shouted in the terms of an angry person. A little secret about my double: She has a low patience and a short temper. She doesn't show it like I do, but I know just what to say to enrage her. It's kinda like a game, getting her to attack first. It'll give me an advantage.

"Right," I draw the word out, as though I was simply annoying Fredward, "Is that what you call turning into the family criminal? Pathetic, Melanie, mom would be disappointed," She roars and leaps forward to attack. Told ya I knew the right buttons to push!

I sidestep her attack, but grab the back of her shirt to swing her around. One thing I'll say: Melanie is a much better fighter than the biker dudes. Plus, she fights **FAIR**. No weapons, no sneak attacks, just our fists and our instincts.

She continues punching at me, while I dodge/block her attacks. My strategy is simply to tire her out. Melanie, for all her strength, can't keep it up. Eventually, she'll let her guard down. She manages to grab my hair, and pulls me inward. When I'm forward enough, she begins talking. Probably to psych me out. Can't let it get to me!

"Ya know," She says, "I probably should have attacked you from behind, unexpectedly. It's so much more affective that way," What is she trying to do here? "It would be simple, just bring a crowbar down on your head, it would certainly knock you out... maybe even send you into a coma?" She smirks evilly, as I finally catch on to what she means.

No...

"You. Hurt. Freddie?" I said, in short, one word sentences. My anger and rage are boiling over, but I calm them for now. I need to know, did she do it? Before I beat her guts out. She just stands there and smirks, but I have my answer. It's right in her eyes...

"AAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!" I shout out at the top of my lungs, forcing my entire body weight at my doppelganger. Melanie's eyes widen in surprise and slight fear as I come into contact with my sister. Actually, right now, she isn't my sister. She's the person (Not even a gender!) who hurt Freddie. SHE HURT FREDDIE! And I can't let her get away with that, not now, not ever!

I punch, kick, scratch, every violent attack one in a primitive state of rage can consciously remember. She begins screaming out, and tries to fight back, but she never stood a chance. In trying to tell me something to make me do something rash, that I would regret, she awakened the same inner anger that made me a detective in the first place.

I continue to attack her. At some point, I had pinned her on the ground and was now continuing to beat the snot out of her. While banging her head against the floor, I heard someone yell at me to stop. I didn't listen at first, so he/she/they (Probably they; no one can handle Sam Puckett alone) drag me off of my wounded sibling. A sudden slap to the face brings me back to my senses.

"Sam! Are you okay? What happened? Why were you beating the chiz out of Melanie?" I looked up to see Valerie fussing over me like, well this analogy; I'm Freddie, she's Marissa. Yeah, that ought to explain it.

"So this is your twin," Nevel observes as he circles Melanie. She glares daggers at him, and I now can see the damage I had done. Bruises, cuts, a black eye... it makes her look so much like a criminal. Do I look the same right now?

Of course, my thoughts disappear when Valerie touches a wet cloth to a bruise on my cheek.

"She," I struggled to explain without feeling that same burning hate, "Was the one who put Freddie in a coma; she snuck behind him with a crowbar and," I couldn't continue, so instead I let Valerie and Nevel piece the rest together. My friends (Odd, calling them friends), each glared at Melanie, not with the same rage I had, but still.

"Well, Sam," Nevel says to me, though his gaze never leaves Melanie, "I assure you that she will be in jail for a very long time for assault, among other things," Melanie glares at us as Valerie ties her up with a rope she got from... somewhere.

"Now tell us," She says all sweet like, "Where, and who, is the Mastermind? What's up with GiGi?" Melanie scowled.

"I told him not to use that stupid codename!" She looks down. I feel some strange emotion... defeat? Come off her as she tells us, "GiGi is at the hospital, visiting Fredward. His exact words were, 'I can't trust anyone to do this right! Looks like I'll have to do it myself!', before storming off," My body numbs in terror. Freddie...

"Well, gang, come on! We have a dork to rescue... again!" I shout as I head outside. Nevel looks at Melanie.

"I've called the police; they'll be here shortly. Just hang tight, okay?" Well, considering that she's all tied up in ropes, I don't think that's gonna be a problem, Nubel.

And so, we head off. To save my best friend... again.

This guy needs better plots.

* * *

Yes, GiGi is uncreative, carrying out the same plots over and over again! Can the fantastic trio of Sam, Nevel, and Valerie stop him? More importantly, why would you know?

If you want Melanie to go to jail, click review.


	18. Chapter 18

iBecome a Private Eye

Disclaimer: Not quite the owner of iCarly. Sorry, peoples.

Author's Notes: This was probably the hardest chapter to write. Unexpected twist involving GiGi and the Mastermind. But how will they beat this dude? Or dudette? Were they wrong to assume GiGi male? Well, you'd know if you'd stop reading this and start reading the chapter!

* * *

Chapter 17: iMeet the Mastermind

Valerie and Nevel rode bikes here. Huh, strange. Why didn't they get Marissa to drive them? Well, it's not too far a ride, so I guess it's acceptable this time. But speaking of time, it's something we're running out of!

"So, tell me, just what are we doing? What's the plan?" Nevel asks us, well, mainly me. I looked back at him from my position in the front of the pack.

"Uh, we wing it?" Nevel stares at me incredulously, "What? I had no idea this was gonna happen, and don't you tell me you did. That's impossible," Grumbling, he turns his attention back to the road, and I take this time to think.

What will happen if he succeeds? Well, yeah, Freddie will die, but what about the rest of us? His mom will go crazy, Valerie and Nevel will feel like they failed, and I... well, how would I feel? Freddie is currently my best friend, so I'd mourn his loss. I promised him I'd stop GiGi/Mastermind, so I'd feel like I'd failed, and after that, I think I'd feel, well, upset. Freddie was (**IS!**) the only thing keeping me focused and sane on this whole entire odyssey, so I think I'll go mad. Maybe.

When we arrive at Mid-City hospital, it's raining. Heh, of course it's raining, this is all a big collection of cliches. I tell the others to abandon their bikes (They do so without hesitation; Those aren't our bikes anyways), and we rush inside the building, running past monotone reception lady, who doesn't even seem to notice. Wow, they should fire her. Anyway, we run down the hall (Slowing down when we pass nurses, but still going pretty fast) and end up at the hallway where Freddie's room is.

"Stay low," I whisper to the others, "I'll take Mastermind on solo; you to wait in case I need backup, or need you to get security," The two of them nod, though they're both reluctant now. I'd like to say it's because of the fact that if I beat Mastermind, I'll get all the credit, but something in my gut tells me that they actually do care. Or maybe I just wanna think that. Or maybe I've snapped. Whatever, I have work to do! Huh, never thought I'd say that. Ever.

Creeping steadily down the hall, I look back once to make sure they're not following me. Valerie stares at me with a worried mother expression, while Nevel just hides behind a Sanitary Person's cart. Ew. At any rate, I take a breath to calm myself, and then slowly, as to make little noise, creak the door open, and rush in, not seeing anything. The room is dark, like in the cliched movies. There's no one here...

I spoke too soon, I realize with slight terror, as the door closes behind me. It's gotta be GiGi, it's just gotta be. I turn around, and jump in surprise. No one's there...

"Hello, Miss Puckett," Again, spoke to soon.

"You..." I turn around to see Mr. Howard there. Wait, what? "Your GiGi?" He crinkles his nose in disgust. The teacher sneers as he tells me.

"No, I'm not GiGi. Why did I let that boy use that stupid code name?" He pondered aloud. I glance over to check on Freddie. He appears fine...

"Okay, so explain it to the dumb blonde. How did you do you do it?" I question, in hopes that he'll think I'm too dumb to comprehend his scheme. It works, and he begins spilling his guts, as every cliched villain does when their plot is discovered.

"Listen good, Puckett. I really didn't think you'd live this long, so I might as well tell you my story. Once upon a time, there was a girl with blonde hair who was underestimated by her family. Feeling sorry for that girl, I asked her what was wrong. She told me her family put her twin on a pedestal just because she was famous, while she was sent away. I, of course, realized immediately who this twin was, and devised a clever plan to have her thrown in jail. By using her sister to incriminate her, I got her to be prime suspect of her own mystery story. Of course, the girl played hero, but it will be in vain, for the girl will be doomed," I slowly nodded. I understood, I just don't want him to know that.

"Okay, but I want to ask a few questions. First off, who is GiGi?" If Mastermind isn't GiGi, then who is?

"I offered Gibby Gibson extra credit to set this whole thing up. I don't even think he knew what he was doing. The codename was his own idea," Of course they would trick Gibby into something like this. When can that kid not be a complete idiot? No offense, Gibby-like people.

"Alright, but why set Ridgeway on fire?" Didn't they (Whoever runs the schools) pay him?

"To be truthful," Howard droned on, "I could've done a multitude of things. But I'm still in spite of what the superintendent did, cost me my principle's position!" Ah, revenge. One of the three most common causes of crime. The other two? Love and money. People are so selfish. Myself included. I started this for revenge, if you remember.

He continued, "I could've recruited Briggs, but she doesn't have the nerve for this kinda job. Would've ratted us out, if we'd told her," Well, make's sense, I suppose.

"And what does Freddie have to do with this?" I have an idea; A stupid one, but it's better than nothing. I just need a bit more time...

"He, to put it simply, figured it out. Well, he figured out that Melanie was part of it. And I couldn't have that, now, could I? The first attempt was to keep his lips shut. This one, was to lure you here. And it worked," Yeah, just keep on looking proud of yourself. All the while, he hasn't noticed I've moved subtly over to a stand where a flower vase sat. Not just any flowers, mind you, but the Forget-Me-Nots I'd gotten Freddie yesterday. I carefully took the pot in my hands...

...And threw it at his head with all my strength! Howard didn't expect this, and dropped to the ground. Just what I wanted him to do. Charging forward now, I bring my fist to his face, but he grabs it, twists my wrist, and pushes me into the wall.

I can hear Valerie and Nevel outside the door, yelling to be let in. Howard had locked the door. Which meant no back-up. I'm on my own.

Grunting in pain, I once again launch myself at him, managing to hit him in the gut. Despite a grunt, he barely registers the blow, and grabs both of my wrists. Instead of pushing me away like last time, he pulls me in closer, whipping a knife out of his pocket. Oh, come on! How many of these people have knives?

"You lose, Puckett," He says with a low sneer. I wish for something, anything to happen. And then...

"S-Sam!" A low, hoarse voice calls out. Howard and I both turn our attention to Freddie, who has just been a body until now. He's struggling to speak, and looks only half-conscious, but there's determination written on his face. "You can d-do this! Sam..." That's where he falls unconscious again.

A strength I never knew I had fills my body, and I knee Howard as hard as I can in the gut. This time, he doubles over in pain, releasing me at the same time. I bring myself down to the ground, and meet his eyes. They glare back at me, and he attempts to grab me and drag me down with him, but my new-found strength allows me to resist. Instead, I grab his face and force him to look at me.

"No Howard, you lose," Then, I punch him out.

* * *

When Nevel and Valerie FINALLY get the door open, they look down at Howard. They didn't notice him at first; Nevel had tripped over his unconscious form.

"What happened?" Was the first thing either of them said. It was from Nevel, not surprisingly, and I glance at him, while Valerie (Once again) coddles me like a mother would. **SHOULD**. But never mind that.

"You don't need to worry; Just know that no one messes with Samantha J. Puckett and gets away with it," Valerie stares at me.

"What's the J stand for?" I'm not going into this again. So, I ignore her and instead tell them how Howard did it. It all comes together now. He got Melanie into the school, gave her the keys to the furnace, faked her attendance at school, tricked Gibby into hiring those dudes to take Freddie out, getting Carly off my side with the tapes, everything. Now that I look down at him, he's downright pathetic.

My mind calms. Everything is good...

* * *

Well, not yet Sam, but still, good job!

Again with the subtle Seddie. There's gonna be actual Seddie in Chpt 19. I feel kinda bad, I had actually planned only Melanie at first, then Melanie with Gibby, then, Howard. Sorry if this is unexpected guys.

Anyway, review and you can punch Howard's nose in!


	19. Chapter 19

iBecome a Private Eye

Disclaimer: I never owned iCarly. I never will. Haven't you gotten that by now?

Author's Notes: Well, hope the last chapter didn't upset anyone. It took longer than usual to write. Oh, and the reviewers are still awesome!

* * *

Chapter 18: iProve my Innocence

"Another day, another villain done in by the great Sam Puckett-"

"Sam, this is the ONLY villain you've ever taken out!"

"Oh yeah..." Well, it's done and over with, I guess. I still have trouble believing it's Howard. Stupid nub. Oh, and Melanie's a stupid nub, too. I wish I knew why my twin turned evil in the first place...

But enough of that chiz. I've solved the mystery, taken down Mastermind, Trickster, and GiGi, and avenged Freddie. Now, we're waiting for the police. One of the security guys called them half an hour ago, and they still weren't here. Nevel and I passed the time by writing down the whole adventure, maybe we'll turn it into a book or something. I think the line I suggested was pretty good, but Nevel was right, since this is the first villain I've ever taken down. Valerie, meanwhile, flips through a magazine, occasionally playing the role of peacekeeper and keeping us from fighting severely. Huh, who'd a thought?

My thoughts keep turning to Freddie. I hadn't got to tell him what happened yet, but Nevel insisted that waiting for the police was important. It doesn't matter to me, though. When Freddie wakes up, we'll make a final video for iCarly, maybe start a new web show with Valerie and Nevel. Gibby might play a part, too. I decided to forgive him, since I doubt he knew what was going on when he helped Howard and Melanie. I would occasionally get so immersed in my thoughts, I wouldn't respond unless Nevel poked me or something like that. Okay, I need to stop thinking about him, the dork's playing with my mind!

"Children," A not stupid nurse says. We look up, "The police are here for you," Perfect.

We walk into the front room. I'm mildly surprised to find Officer Carl there, along with some other policemen. One of them gestures for us to go into the back room. We obey without hesitation, and sit in three chairs in front of a desk that's currently abandoned. Carl and another policeman go around the desk and sit down, while two more guard the door, as though they think we'll make a break for it. Well, I won't, but I can't promise anything for Nevel and Valerie, especially Valerie. I just don't know her that well.

"So..." Carl begins, looking directly at me. I don't blame him, these two are perfect while I'm a known criminal. Okay, maybe punching a teacher for making me spit out my gum wasn't the best idea, but still, "Wanna tell us what happened here?"

"Not really," I respond coolly, "But if your nice, I'll tell you anyways," Nevel rolls his eyes at me, but smiles, and Valerie giggles. Carl, however, is not amused.

"Sam..."

"Oh, alright," I sigh, and begin to explain our odyssey to him. He does ask seemingly pointless questions, which irks me, but I keep my cool and tell him what went on. From the school, to Freddie's coma, to our investigation, to the attacks (Which Carl apologizes for his men accidentally letting them go), right down to fighting off Howard here in this very building. Looking back at it now, it's hard to believe this happened over the course of more or less four days. Spooky, huh?

"...And your certain Howard is responsible?" Carl asks. I feel like glaring daggers into his frame, yet I keep my neutral expression.

"Yup," Nevel responds in my steed. Good man, "And if three witness accounts aren't good enough for you, I'll opt out to tell you that I hid a camera in Freddie's room," I stared in shock, because I don't remember this. Nevel sees my glance and tells me, "I did it when you were talking to Fredward on Saturday. It's just above the door frame," Carl instructs one of his men to retrieve it, then turns to us.

"Do you know what this means?" He asks seriously. I really don't know, so I respond:

"Howard and Melanie go to jail, we don't, and Gibby gets pardoned?"

"No- well, yes, but no," He seems to be struggling over his words. It's actually an amusing sight, and I allow myself to laugh, "What I mean is, you children are heroes. You just put a possibly dangerous mastermind behind bars, it could've been months before we figured it out," Ha! We're smarter than most adults! Take that, news media!

"So," Nevel asks in a light mood. I think he's feeling good, "When do we get our medals?"

* * *

"Ms. Puckett, how did you take out the Mastermind?"

"Did you enlist the aid of your sidekicks, or did they come to you?"

"Are you and Fredward a couple?"

These reporters haven't stopped bugging us since the police publicly released the results. Melanie and Howard are going to jail, no trial, no bail. Gibby got pardoned, due to being 'Gibby', and we're getting the hero treatment. Ah, life is good. But I'd better take care of these reporters, not least of all because Nevel and Valerie are glaring dangerously at the one who called them sidekicks.

"I punched him, they're not sidekicks, I went to them, and no, Freddie and I are NOT a couple," Huh, the idea doesn't make me wanna barf. Weird. "Now, whoever gets me the best ham gets a private interview," Just as I expect, they all flock in different directions. As Freddie would say, 'Ay, muy estúpido'.

"Nice going, Sam," Nevel compliments as we head towards Bushwell. We're going to tell Marissa we won, so that she doesn't have to worry about her baby boy's attacker still being on the loose. Plus, I want to see her face when I tell her the whole story!

* * *

Turns out, she already knows.

"SAM! Oh, thank goodness your okay! I saw you on the news, did that idiot hurt you? Oh, I'm so glad you're okay!" While saying this, she gives me the biggest bone-crushing hug I've ever had. It's annoying and endearing at the same time. I've never been hugged like this before.

"First off, I'm okay, I'm fine. Second, it's already on the news?" I whined. My mom **ALWAYS **watches the news, which means she'll learn about Melanie. Suddenly, I didn't want to go home.

"You can stay at my house, Sam," All three of them say. I smile, never have I felt so cared for, as the three discuss (Well, more like argue) over who I'm staying with tonight. I don't even care that they once again read my mind.

"No, she staying **HERE**," I familiar voice firmly tell them. The four of us turn pin quiet as we face the owner of said voice. Carly...

"Sam, I'm sorry. I'm so stupid, how could I forget about Melanie?" She saw it on the news, too? "Yes Sam, I did," I've **GOT** to stop being so predictable! Then again, Carly was (Is?) my best friend. It would only make sense that she knows me better. "Could you ever forgive me?" She's begging... she's actually begging! I don't know why I'm so shocked; Carly's not stupid, she knows when she's messed up.

"I'll think about it," I respond with a smile. True, we'll probably never be as close as we once were, but I think we could get over this. Carly smiles, and I tell her I'll stay the night.

She, surprisingly, invites the others in, too. She tells me she's been in and out to see Freddie, and some other things, but it doesn't matter.

At the dinner table, surrounded by friends, family, and ham, I'm finally at home, at peace.

I've finally proved my innocence.

* * *

Okay, a bit sentimental on Sam's part, but I like it, and isn't that the only thing that matters? Oh, and don't forget about the Seddie I promised in the next chapter!

Review is view with a re- in front of it. It allows me to view your opinions, which I value. Please give me your reviews. Oh, and you can have some of Sam's ham if you review, too.

"**MY HAM!**"


	20. Chapter 20

iBecome a Private Eye

Disclaimer: So close, yet so far. This has nothing to do with the fact that I don't own iCarly. Just something random.

Author's Notes: The long awaited Seddie is here! Hey, I promised, and I'm gonna deliver. Hope you aren't too disappointed if it turns out terrible. Oh, and apology to Creddie/Carly fans. I just don't like that stuff.

* * *

Chapter 19: iCome out of the Coma

What a long day.

After waking up in Carly's apartment, I forgot where I was and screamed. Everyone (Old friends _and _new) managed to calm me down. I convinced Carly to make us pancakes, when the phone rang. It was Nevel's mom, seeing what happened on the news and calling to check in on him, yada yada. After we got done explaining what went on, she had Nevel come home. Which seemed to bum him out, but he left anyways. Then, Valerie realized her parents were probably freaking and called them up. She got yelled at before hanging up, declaring she couldn't stay after school. We three (Carly, Valerie, and myself) headed up to the school, where I got commended for my heroism. Normally, this would be awesome, but after giving some credit to Valerie and Nevel, I continued onto my next class. Just sitting in the classroom, half-listening to the teachers as they... taught. After school, I wrote a quick note to those who cared, stuck it on Carly's door, and headed to, where else?

The hospital. Freddie still didn't know I've won yet, and obligations made me delay my visit. Well, anyways, that's where we leave off now. With me entering Freddie's room, clutching a new bouquet of Forget-Me-Nots in one arm, and the other on the doorknob. I enter with a faint smile on my face.

"Hey, Freddork," I'm not really expecting a response, so I'm not surprised when I don't get one. I continue, "Sorry I hadn't been here earlier, ya know, school and stuff? That's part of the reason I think school is useless," I drabble on, then stop myself, "Anyways, just as I promised, I won! You may now worship me," That last part was joking, but it still made me feel sad, cause I can think of one-hundred Freddie responses right now.

"Hey, you still listening?" No response. My eyes fill with tears again. Stupid tears, "Ya know, Freddweird, you may just be the reason I won, cause you woke up like you did," I smiled gratefully at him. What that dork does to me...

"And, um, it was Melanie and Howard. Did you know that? Maybe, you could've told me, but you didn't. And I'm glad, it made me use my brain for once. Did you know that it's the size of a normal person's brain?" I chuckle to myself. And then, I repeat the whole story. If I were telling this to anyone else, I would've bashed my own (Or someone else's) brains out. But since this is Freddie, and he's been in a coma for the past four days, I'm calm enough to tell him, and only him, what happened. I can't help it now, the tears flow down my cheeks.

"Please, Please wake up, Fredward. Carly misses you, your mom misses you... I miss you. Please, just wake up already!" I cry out in mourning.

Now, you expect this to be the part of the movie where the guy wakes up, calls his girl's name gently, and the two have a moment of love, compassion, and understanding. They embrace and proclaim their love for each other, sharing the perfect kiss. It would certainly add to the cliches in this story. But that isn't what happened.

Instead, he jolts upward, screaming "NNOO!!!!" at the top of his dorkish lungs. Considering I was hovering straight above him, we smacked foreheads. He landed backwards on his pillow. Lucky. I hit the floor, feeling pain jolt through my head as it smacked against the linoleum. Why would they have such a hard flooring in a hospital?

Hey, wouldn't it be funny if I just died, right here? After facing two psychos in a matter of minutes, and successfully thwarting them despite having disadvantages, that I die by means of an accident, caused by the very person I was trying to save? Irony is it's own comedian.

"SAM?! Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!" Heh, the dork just woke up from a coma, and he's asking if **I'M** alright? He's so strange, with his garbled attempts at apologizes. Despite myself, I laugh and flung myself into his arms. He didn't expect that, but catches me anyways, "Did I hurt your head, Sam? Are you in your right mind?" One very shocked Fredward, check.

"Shut up dork! Did you know you were out for four days?" I manage to state this without breaking down. And I probably wouldn't be able to do that if Freddie hadn't woken up. So, thanks, dork.

"**WHAT**?! IT'S ALREADY MONDAY?! MELANIE COULD BE-" Here, I cut him off by placing a finger to his mouth. Smirking a satisfied grin, I lean backwards in my chair, and accidentally hit my head against the wall. Stupid wall. Freddie winces at my pain, then leans over and examines it.

"Don't worry," I manage to keep from laughing at his over-affection, "They're both in jail, rotting in their respective cells. I'm innocent, your awake, and that's all that matters," I hug him again, feeling more confident and, well, loved as he embraces me back.

"So... did you really send me a dream message, or did my mind just make that up?" I ask, hoping to cut down the now very tense mood. Freddie smiles at me.

"You got that? Wow, I didn't think it would work. Scar certainly didn't" I raise one eyebrow.

"And who's Scar? Is she the one who made you where that ugly purple suit?" Freddie grins in some sort of confidence as he lays back in his bed. I am confused at what this means.

"I'll tell ya later," He replies coolly. I roll my eyes here and walk over to the door to call for a doctor.

"Sam... wait," I raise my eyebrow again as I stare at him, "I, uh, well," What's got him so nervous?

"Well, what is it, Freddnub?" I snap at him in impatience. The faster a doctor checks him out, the faster we can get out of here. Plus, my heads throbbing, I think that fall did something to it.

"How can I possibly explain this?' He inwardly wonders, ignoring my existence for the moment. I sit back down, ignoring my head for awhile. Hey, I listened to it all weekend, I think I need a break!

Then, he sits up. He's having a little trouble doing so, so I help prop him up. Freddie stares at me with thanks in his eye, but doesn't say anything.

After that, he catches me completely off-guard. He kisses me.

No, not on the cheek like in the dream, but on my lips. I suddenly have flashbacks, moments passing before my very eyes. Just like when I was about to die, but this was different. I now understood why I was having these weird thoughts and visions. It was so perfectly clear now.

When he moves back, he flinches, like I'm gonna hit him. I probably would have, had this happened a few days ago. Instead, I just smile at him. He blushes just for me, it's actually kinda cute when he does that. But, back to business.

"Well? Your gonna tear my eyeballs out, right?" He's completely stunned at how well I'm taking this. Hey, I've grown up in the past few days. Nothing could make me happier at this moment. Just the two of us, and the rest of the world. Unfortunately, perfect doesn't last.

"Oh, good, you're up," One of the stupid nurses says, "I'll go get you a doctor, you wait right here," Yeah, where else we gonna go, China?

"Hey, Sam," He asks. I shoot my head up, "I love you,"

I smirk, "Love you too, dork,"

* * *

Well, I can smell the cheesiness of that ending from here in Doesn'texistastan.

So, now unless you want Sam to kill you for reading about that kiss, review and I'll get you into the Witness Protection Program.


	21. Chapter 21

iBecome a Private Eye

Disclaimer: GO BACK TO MARS, ALIEN SCUM! Uh, sorry, wrong document. Um... I don't own iCarly?

Author's Notes: Well, just this an the epilogue. Ya hear me? The FINAL CHAPTER! And more centric on Valerie and Nevel's new friendship with Sam. Freddie knows the story, but will he trust them? And how will the group react to the new couple? Well, your not gonna find out reading the author's notes!

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Chapter 20: iBecome a Good Guy

"Oh, my baby!" Well, the doctor's checked Freddie out, and then called his mother. Marissa went back to her overprotective self as she coddled her newly awakened son. Freddie, however, didn't enjoy the attention so much. He squirmed in his mother's grasp, and complained. A lot. It was amusing, but, seeming as I'm his girlfriend now, I should probably do something.

"Marissa... Freddie's been out cold for days. He's probably hungry..." That's all the eldest Benson had to hear, and she left to get her son some proper nourishment. She'll probably get something tofu, so I'll be going with Freddie to the Groovy Smoothie later.

"Thanks," My new boyfriend says with a grateful tone. I smile gently at him. Nevel, Valerie, and Carly (Oh, yeah. They're also here with Spencer, too) give that same _I Know Something you don't know_ smirk, ya know, the one I patented? I won't sue them, though... this time. Spencer just grins obliviously, as usual.

Ya wanna know the strange thing? It seemed three of our five guests (I'm sure you can guess **WHICH** ones) seemed aware of our relationship the moment they stepped in the room. The other two (Do I even need to say it?) were completely unaware of it.

Suddenly, Carly and Valerie drag me into the halls. I screech out and bat their hands away, warning them that I still had my battle reflexes on from yesterday. Either they were oblivious, or they ignored the gesture because they both started squealing like, well, girls. Is there some reason to squeal?

"OMG, SAM! Why didn't you tell us you and Freddie were dating!" Carly says, all annoyingly gossip-girl like. I raise my eyebrow in confusion.

"Well, you two and Nevel figured it out on your own. What purpose is there to tell you?" Being a detective has it's ups and downs. This was an up: Twisting words. Though I was already able to do that.

"Well, it still feels nice to have closure!" Valerie responds. The two go on about wanting the details, or 'deets' as they called, and I block them out, instead my mind goes back to that moment.

My head still hurts slightly from the fall (Which I conveniently forgot to tell the others about), and I wonder if that affected my thinking process. But I don't regret it. Don't regret anything I've done in the past four days. Don't regret kissing Freddie, and telling him I love him. Don't regret anything...

"Sam, could I speak with you and Miss Valerie in private?" I turn to find Nevel staring at us. It had been his voice who asked, I'm sure of that. I glance past him to see Spencer and Freddie talking about, um, not sure what they're talking about. But, I turn over to the short nub.

"Sure," And we turn to Valerie, who confirms and we head out. Carly re-enters the hospital room, presumably to try to get info out of Freddie. Would he crack? Ah, well, I'd tell her later anyways. The three of us head down the hallway; ironically on the same path we came when we were trying to save Freddie. I don't bother repressing the memories; just let them flash by my eyes and pass. When we arrive at the end of the hallway, Nevel decides this is a good place to talk and stops us.

"Why?" His question stuns me, half-because I have no idea what he's talking about. It's not like him to throw random words around.

"Why, what?" I ask back. Nevel blinks.

"Why are you still hanging out with us? I thought the truce was only temporary," I sigh; Nevel doesn't quite comprehend the fact that we're now friends, but I didn't think I'd need to explain it to him. Valerie also looks puzzled... but she's looking at me. Which doesn't help my situation.

"You guys are my friends now. After what we've been through, you think I'd just dump you?" That would be a terrible thing to do. Nevel looks down.

"Well," He begins, "Yeah. I mean, I thought you didn't wanna be my friend. And you **DID** threaten Valerie's life," He points out. I bite my lip, trying to figure out how to explain this. Um...

"Okay... when people go through a traumatic experience together, they bond, right? They're forced to, because the other is all they have. You think those bonds would just disappear. No! They linger, and friendships develop. So, do you think I'm stupid enough to fight off the inevitable?" Nevel gulped, quickly shaking his head no. Valerie voiced her response.

"No, I don't think you'd do that. You're right, Sam," We gave each other a simultaneous smile, and the three of us head back towards Freddie's room to hear Freddie complaining to his mom about eating something healthy. We walked in just as Marissa attempted to force some health snack down his throat.

"Greetings, humans!" I say in an 'alien' voice. Then, I take Freddie's healthy food snack, and crush it, making whooping sounds. Marissa scolds me, but didn't leave to get more. Freddie sends me a thankful look from around his mother, and I smirk at him in response.

After what seems like forever, the doctor **FINALLY** discharges Freddie. We all leave the hospital, and I take a moment to reflect on what had happened here. Two battles, two tearful speeches... one kiss, and the start of a beautiful, promising relationship.

I smile, and follow the others to the car.

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"Three cheers for Freddie!" I shout. Everyone raises there glasses in tune with each cheer, and then drink the smoothie contents. After somehow managing to convince Marissa to stop by the Groovy Smoothie, everyone got smoothies and we returned to Carly's apartment. That's where we're cheering to Freddie's consciousness.

"Hey," Freddie subtly gestures to the elevator, and I follow without a second thought. I stand inside of it, and after a moment, Freddie joins me. He presses the elevator button to take us to the iCarly studio, which hasn't been touched since our last episode. Once the door closes, he presses a gentle kiss to my lips.

"So," He says after he pulls back, "How was playing detective?" I shot one of my eyebrows up.

"Playing? Freddork, I put a dangerous criminal and his accomplice behind bars. I avenged your beating, solved a mystery, made friends out of enemies, and beat up biker dudes! I was** NOT **playing!" A familiar _ding_ alerts us to the fact that we've arrived, and we sit down on the squishy chairs more or less in the center of the room.

Freddie nods, "I know. I still can't believe you did that... for **ME**!" Hm, maybe I should play with his mind a bit.

"Oh, I didn't do it for you," I narrow my eyes in mock anger, "Nobody messes with Samantha J. Puckett's property and gets away with it!" He rolls his eyes, then proceeds to say:

"Whatever, Samantha **Jocelyn** Puckett," He put emphasis on my middle name. I gape stupidly at him.

"How do you know my middle name?" I ask in a stupor that only Fredward could cause. He chuckles and wraps his arms around me, pressing another gentle kiss to my lips.

"My little secret," He says playfully, and I suddenly have an urge to throw something. So, I throw my pillow at Freddie. Before I knew it, we're in a full fledge pillow fight.

Of course, I won.

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Good for you, Sam. Well, that was it, final chapter! (Minus the epilogue)

The name Jocelyn means 'Playful', and that just describes Sam so well! Hey, **I** like the name!

Well? Are you gonna just sit there, or are ya gonna review?


	22. Chapter 22

iBecome a Private Eye

Disclaimer: For the final time, I DO NOT OWN iCARLY!

Author's Notes: Okay, I'm aware that Sam's middle name is Joy, but I like my pick better! Isn't the author's word final? At any rate, this is the epilogue. Hard to believe it's already over...

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Epilogue: iAm a Private Eye

One month later, we walk alongside each other into the redesigned Ridgeway. The place, I hate to admit, looks great! Well, the last I was in here, it was mostly burnt up, so of course it looks better now. The school board used the fire as an excuse to remodel Ridgeway. Apparently, they've been planning that for a while and just needed an excuse to do it. Huh, so Howard and Melanie's evil plan benefited some people.

Freddie's right by my side, holding my hand. We've been going out for nearly a month, and we managed to stay together. Marissa and Spencer finally found out. Spencer's exact words were 'You go little dude!', while Marissa started lecturing us about safe dating. Ugh, honestly, were not stupid, woman!

Carly's on my left. We're still good friends, though I don't think I can honestly call her my best friend for a while now. I still sleep over at her house, but it's more likely I'll just go over to the Benson's place. Not that I don't trust her, it's just that I trust Freddie more.

If this were a month ago, I'd slap myself to see if my brains were functioning properly.

Valerie stands right next to Carly. Our friendship had began to grow in the past month, it was almost as strong as my friendship with Carly is at the moment. We hang out, paint each others nails, etc, etc. When I'm going to go out with Freddie, Valerie is the first person I call to help me pick out an outfit, or go shopping. But unlike Carly, she doesn't mind fighting and stuff, so we practice martial arts together. That was what brought us closer together.

To everyone's surprise, was Nevel on the side of Freddie (Carly doesn't trust or like him, and I really can't blame her). He convinced his mom to let him come to a real school, just in an upper level. And he just 'happened' to test equivalent to our grade. How... coincidental.

We went to jail to visit my sister and Howard over the month. Melanie was pretty cold, and I can't say I blame her. I mean, I just put her in jail. Howard... well, he just wasn't happy. End of discussion there.

My mom... she took the news rather hard. In fact, she went into denial. Then, she got angry with me for putting Melanie in jail in the first place. Then she became really sad. Then, she just went all quiet and didn't speak to anyone. I think she's still trying to accept the fact that her baby girl (Her _other _baby girl) is in prison. She'll be in there for a long time. In my own way, I sorta feel sorry for her. Not Howard though, I couldn't care less about _**him**_.

"Attention, attention students," Principle Franklin calls out attention over to him. He's in the center of the hallway with a bullhorn, "Welcome back to our beloved school of Ridgeway!" A bunch of people cheer. I just 'meh' at it all.

"Now, I know you're not going to be quite used to the remodeled school, so please pick up a map and your schedule at your homeroom classes, which I shall now post," And he posts them on the wall.

The others, minus Freddie, Nevel, and myself, flock over to get their new homeroom numbers. This is gonna be confusing, I can already tell. Once the crowd clears down a little bit, the three of us start looking for our names.

I knew Ted secretly favors us! We're all in the same class.

"I'll go to homeroom now, leave you two lovebirds alone for a bit," Nevel smirks at us, before heading off into one of the hallways.

"Should we tell him that he's going the wrong way?" Freddie asks me. I pause and think about it, then chuckle.

"Nah, that can wait," I pull him in by the shirt for a kiss. A random passing teacher (Must be Howard's replacement: I've never seen him before) passes, yelling back at us,

"No public displays of affection," And, in my shock, I accidentally push Freddie to the ground. Oops.

Just another normal day for a girl called Sam Puckett.

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Yeah, wasn't quite sure how I wanted to end this. Seems like cheesiness is really affecting me. Also, shorter, but hey, so was the prologue.

So, leave your final comment. And I'll start working on my next story... maybe. If you liked this one.


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